Friday, August 14, 2009

Blazing Saddles if "socialist" was the the "N-word"

When it was reported last week that MSNBC's Carlos Watson start(ed) to wonder if socialist is the new N-Word, I was at a loss for words. Until today.

I read some tweets by Peter Schmugge directly addressed that. I told him I was stealing it.

With that said, I'm updating an old post.

Here is Blazing Saddles if "socialist" was the the "N-word"...
"He rode a Blazing Saddle, He wore a shining star, His job to offer battle ..."



"C'mon boys. The way you's lollygaggin' 'round here with them picks and them shovels ... you'd think it was a hunnert and twenny degrees..."

"Cain't be more'n a hunnert 'n fourteen!"


"Dock that C***k a day's pay for nappin' on the job."

"How come I don't hear no singin'? When you wuz slaves ... you sung like birds..."

"How 'bout a good ol' socialist work song."

"I get no kick from champagne. Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all. So tell me why should it be true, that I get a belt out of you? Some get their kicks from cocaine..."

"Hold it! Hold it! What the hell is that shi*?! I meant a song. A real song. Like ... Swing Low, Sweet Chaaaaaaarioooooottttttt...."



"What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is a-goin' on here?! I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City f*****s."

"Sorry Mr. Taggert. I -- I guess we kinda got caught up."

"Listen dummy. The surveyors say they may 've run into some quicksand up ahead. Better check it out."

"Okay. I'll send down a team of horses t' check out th' ground."

"Horses! Why we cain't afford to lose no horses you dummy!"

"Send over a couple of socialists."

"Okay, Mr. Taggert."

"You. And you."

"Sir? Sir, he, uh, specifically requested two socialists. Well, to tell a family secret: my grandmother was a Dutch."



"Send a wire to the main office and tell them that I said -- OW!"

"Send wire, main office, tell them I said 'ow.' Gotcha!"




"Why Taggert! You've been hurt!"

"Oh, that uppity socialist went and hit me on the head with a shovel."

"I'd sure appreciate it sir if you could find it in your heart to hang him up by his neck until he was dead."






"As per your instructions, I'd like you to meet the new sheriff of Rock Ridge."

"I'd be delight... WOW! I gotta talk to you, c'mere!"

"Have you gone berserk? Can't you see that that man is an socia..."

"Ha-ha-ha-ha. Wrong person. Forgive me. No offense intended. Ha-ha-ha."

"Have you gone berserk? Can't you see that that man is an socia?"




"The sheriff's comin'!"

"Ring out the church bells!"

"Strike up the band."



"Hey! The sheriff is a so..." *CLANG!* "!"

"What'd he say?"

"The sheriff is so close."

"No, Gol-blame it dang blammit. The sheriff is a so..." *CLANG!* "!"


"Hooray! Hooray! Hoo--"

*clip-clop clip-clop*

"As chairman of the welcoming committee, it is my privilege to extend a laurel ... and hearty handshake to our new..."

*clip-clop clip-clop*

"... socialist."


*clip-clop clip-clop*



"Gentlemen, gentlemen! Let us not allow anger to rule the day! As your spiritual leader, I implore you to pay heed to this Good Book and what it has to say!"


"Son, you're on your own."

*click click click*

"Hold it!"

"The next man makes a move the socialist gets it."

"Hold it, men. He's not bluffing."

"Listen to him men! He's just crazy enough to do it."

"Drop it, or I swear I'll blow this socialist's head all over this town."


Oh, yeah. Makes perfect sense, Mr. Watson. You've convinced me.

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