Friday, February 18, 2011

Death by SyFy

The sun has launched an attack on the earth.

A solar flare was emitted Tuesday, and it's heading this way.
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association (NOAA) said the possible effects from the geomagnetic storm include power grid fluctuations, impact on satellite operations, effects on migratory animals and the visibility of auroras in places like New York, Idaho, Michigan and Maine.
Yes, it's hitting any moment now.

It may have already hit. But, I don't think it has, since life on earth hasn't burned up and the continents haven't turned into pools of molten rock.

And, did you notice that one of the places impacted would be Idaho? Frank J. lives near there, I think. And the CME could affect his blogging. I don't know if it'll make it better or worse, but I don't like change, so whatever happens, I won't like it.

But, let's look at the bigger picture. This solar attack is like the plot out of a bad direct-to-video movie that airs on the SyFy Channel or something. Which means that we need to be on the lookout for other SyFy-based threats. Like Meteors, Mega Piranha, Mega Pythons, Gatoroids, Tiffany, and Debbie Gibson.

We also need to ask why. Why is the sun attacking us?

I think it's pissed that humans are trying to take credit for global warming, when it's the sun that causes the earth to warm up and cool down. The sun has sat there, 93-million miles away, watching us. And it's tired of Al Gore giving credit to humans for its work.

I think we need to take all the "global warming/climate change/whatever it's called next" crowd and put them in a rocket and shoot them off into space. Not like some B Ark plot, but to distract the CMEs. It'll see the rocket ship full of screaming environmentalists and direct its attention that way.

Al Gore could end up saving the earth after all.

Even then, we won't be completely safe. There's still the threat of Tiffany vs Debbie Gibson.

1 comment:

  1. The sun is attacking?

    This looks like a job for Fred Thompson!


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