Thursday, September 26, 2013

Koona t'chuta, Solo?

They found Han Solo. He's right where they left him, apparently, on Mercury.

Now, I don't remember Han being in our solar system. He was in a galaxy far, far away. And, it was a long time ago. Still, NASA has found what looks like Han Solo on Mercury, still frozen in carbonite.

A portion of the terrain surrounding the northern margin of the Caloris basin hosts an elevated block in the shape of a certain carbonite-encased smuggler who can make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.
NASA took time out from its Muslim outreach to actually look at photos a space probe took of the closest planet to the sun, and discovered that rock formation, or lava formation, or whatever it is.

Trick of the terrain and shadows, is what it is. That makes you see things that don't really exist. Thing like that face on Mars.

Anyway, since NASA no longer knows how to send men into space, at least they can see characters from space movies that think parsecs are a measurement of time.

I'm wondering what other science fiction staples NASA will run across next. Maybe the benefits of Obamacare?


  1. They worked out an explanation for the parsec brag. Kessel is near the Maw, a black holes cluster, inside of which which the Empire build a skeletal death star prototype. The parsec brag is about his finding an efficient way through the Maw's twist of space-time.

  2. To me it looks like the frog that leaped into the last satellite launch.

    It is the occupant after Putin bitch slapped him over Syria.

    Andre the Giant didn't die, he just went home. *bowing head*

  3. Obama has only two kinds of drive: one is impulse, the other is warped.

  4. Oh, and that thing on Mercury looks like it's learning to walk like an Egyptian.

  5. Can anyone explain the benefits of Obamacare in less then twelve parsecs?

  6. But Jar-Jar is on Uranus! Ha! #tenyearoldsjokes

  7. Can't be General Solo; I saw him get rescued.

  8. It's not really a twist of space-time, it's the gravitational effect of a black hole. The shorter path travels closer to the black hole's gravitational field, making it more likely that you will be sucked into the black hole and crushed. A perfectly rational explanation, I might add.


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