Friday, September 20, 2013

Would you Volunteer to go to The Swamp?

Any Volunteers?
So, whacha doin' Saturday?

How about some good old-fashioned SEC football?

Oh, and there's a girl included.

According to Fox Sports, University of Tennessee football fan Gary Yates has tickets to this weekend's game in Gainesville, Florida, between the Tennessee Volunteers and the Florida Gators. Tickets for him, his wife Brenda, her daughter Jessica, and Jessica's date. Only, Jessica's date backed out.

So, he went to Craig's List and put up an ad, trying to get Jessica a date.
He says his family, including his wife Brenda, is flying down for the game — and also using the trip to check on a retirement home they’re building in Punta Gorda. The "winner" of the ad will sit with him, Brenda and Jessica at the game.
Turns out, I've got other plans this weekend. It's my grandmother's birthday, so I'm heading to southeast Georgia. While there are some in the family that will skip an old lady's birthday to go to a football game in Florida, I'm not one of them. So, I'm not going after it for that reason. And maybe a couple more.

But, hey, you might want to give it a shot. The worst that could happen is you see a college football game.

Okay, maybe something worse could happen. But, at least you get a football game out of it. Be thankful for the little things.


  1. This reminds me of the old story about the guy sitting way up in the stands at a football game. He sees an empty front row aisle seat right on the 50 yard line. All through the game it’s bugging him that this great seat is empty. During halftime he gets up to stretch his legs and can’t resist going down to find out what’s up with the seat.

    He approaches an older man sitting next to the empty seat and starts chatting with him about the game so far. Eventually he comes right out and asks about the empty seat. The man replies “Oh, that’s mine. My wife and I had season tickets. We never missed a home game. But she died recently. This is actually the first game I’ve been to without her in 40 years.”

    The guy from the stands says “Oh, I’m very sorry to hear that. But don’t you have any relatives or friends who would like to sit with you?”

    The older man shook his head sadly and replied “No. They’re all at the funeral.”

  2. DamnCat -

    It's an old story, but it's still a great story! I'm still laughing.

  3. First, is that Jessica in the picture?

    And second, Is she standing in the doorway of a hotel room wearing stillettos and a little black dress?

    Yep, sounds like Craigslist material. Totally legit. Nothing could go wrong.

  4. Thor:

    1- Yes.

    2- Don't know, but it sure looks that way.

    3- No disagreement from me.

  5. That's right, Thor - if you want a "date" with Jessica you have to talk to her "daddy" first.

  6. I'll pass.

    Jessica looks like one of those girls who pretends to be on a "diet" all the time, and if you take her out to dinner, she'll order the salad, but then when you order dessert and she says "none for me", she then "nibbles" up half your cheesecake.

    And 5 bucks says she's sporting a tramp stamp that includes roses in the design.

  7. Harvey:

    There's only one way to find out.


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