If you came here looking for something humorous, you're out of luck. Frank J has teh funneh, but he's out of town for a few days.
If you came here looking for keen political insight, you're also out of luck. Because all you got is Obama speechifying and making the stock markets drop another 300+ points. So, nothing new there.
What else is there?
Well, if you checked that calendar you got as a gift last Christmas and thought, "Gosh, that's a lame Christmas gift," then you'll see that it's September ... and that calendars are actually pretty cool. Because they tell you when it's time for ... college football!
That's means it's time for another installment of "Who's Gonna Lose" ... which is sort of like Leonard's Losers, except Leonard's dead and most of you don't remember him. I'm certainly no Leonard Postosties, but I can pick a loser in college football. After all, I'm a fan of Georgia Bulldogs football and it's the 2011 season. How can you argue with credentials like that?
Last week, I went a perfect 1-0, picking Boise State to beat Georgia. There were other games going on, but since I didn't care about them, I didn't pick them. First week of the season, anything can happen. Just ask Auburn. Or Texas Christian.
On to this week's games.
Alabama vs Penn State
The Crimson Tide is ranked number 2 (Coaches) or number 3 (AP). Penn State is number 20 (Coaches) or 23 (AP). What does that mean? It means that coaches and sports writers don't agree. It also means that they do agree on one thing: Alabama is better than Penn State.
It's the only game between two ranked opponents this week. Nick Saban is not The Bear, but his team is loaded for bear, and they just might be the best in the SEC -- and, by default, all of college football. Which means a tough day in State College for the Nittany Lions. (What's a Nittany?)
Joe Paterno has won more college football games than any other coach. Unless you count John Gagliardi or Eddie Robinson.
Nick Saban is only 267 wins behind Jo Pa. After Saturday, make that 266.
Who's gonna lose? Penn State?
Oregon State vs Wisconsin
Up in Harvey's neck of the woods, Wisconsin (#8 AP / #9 Coaches) may be the best team in the B-One-G. The Badgers have got what it takes to make a run at the conference championship: talent and a Big Ten schedule. Plus, they get to play other sucky teams. Like Oregon State. And, they only had one player arrested this week. With a roster their size, if they don't lose more than one a week, they'll be able to field a full team all year long.
You got to give the Oregon State credit, though. Not every team can find a way to lose in overtime to a Division 1-AA school. But the Beavers did last week. However, true freshman Malcolm Agnew did rush for 223 yards on 23 carries and score 3 times. But it was against Sacramento State.
The Badgers are favored by 3 TDs in this one. I don't think they'll win by that much. But win, they will.
Who's gonna lose? Oregon State.
Mississippi State vs Auburn
Since my buddy Paul retired from blogging (he limits his mean ol' meaness to Facebook now), I don't get to read about just how horrible Mississippi State is. Of course, his semi-retirement coincided with the Bulldogs rise from the basement of the SEC West.
Auburn is coming off an okay season -- that means they won the SEC, which means they won the BCS championship, which is to be expected, which means everything's okay -- and is trying to replace some serious college talent. Since the NCAA investigation won't finish until the FBI finishes their investigation into Alabama politicians taking bribes from casino owners (long story), that scrutiny means no preacher kids getting hundreds of thousands for their daddy's church for playing football on the Plains.
Still, Auburn is a decent team. During the last two minutes of a game, anyway.
The Tigers and the Bulldogs will be battling for the title of 4th best team in the SEC West. Which is better than it sounds. The Delta Dawgs are ranked 16 (AP) and 17 (Coaches) this week. Being number four in the SEC West right now means being no worse than number 17 in the country. The SEC West is that strong.
Senior RB Vick Ballard ran for 166 yards and 3 scores last week. Ballard and senior QB Chris Relf should give Auburn fits. But, Auburn is better than they showed last week.
The West Dawgs won't be looking ahead to LSU. Not if they expect to win at Auburn. This one might end up being another 3-2 game.
Who's gonna lose? Auburn.
Northwestern State vs LSU
No, really. Seriously?
The good news for the Demons? The check will clear. They can use the money to buy Band-Aids and Mercurochrome.
Who's gonna lose? Northwestern State.
Fresno State vs Nebraska
What's worse than having two dozen players committing welfare fraud? I was going to say having to play Nebraska.
How much worse can it get? Fresno State still has to play Ole Miss and Boise State to start October. The Bulldogs will get a taste of what's going to happen then when Nebraska rolls them over uses them as their bitch this afternoon. But the pounding the Bulldogs are going to take from the Cornhuskers isn't anything like they pounding the players that end up in prison will end up taking from the cornhol... never mind.
Who's gonna lose? Fresno State.
Virginia Tech vs East Carolina
Last week, the Pirates shocked lots of people by jumping out to a 17-0 lead on South Carolina. Of course, during the next 39:45 of football, USC outscored ECU 56-20.
Dominique Davis threw for nearly 4,000 yards last season for East Carolina. It doesn't matter what the competition is, those are pretty good numbers.
On the other hand, Virginia Tech is no slouch. The 11th-ranked (AP/Coaches) Hokies will have a tougher time than they expect with ECU. Plus, the game is in Greenville. But VPI is a stronger team.
Who's gonna lose? East Carolina.
South Carolina vs Georgia
Some coaches have a love-hate relationship with certain players. Gamecocks coach Steve Spurrier has has love-hate relationships with his QBs in the past. But not this year. It's hate-hate with Stephen Garcia.
Garcia is fortunate that nobody better at his position has signed with the Gamecocks, because that's the only thing preventing Spurrier from kicking him off the team. Spurrier should anyway, but he just won't take my advice. Who does he think he is? A Heisman-winning quarterback who has coached teams to championships in multiple conferences plus a national championship? Like that means something.
As for Georgia, the less said, the better.
The Bulldogs problems began when they hired Michael Adams as president of the college. He fired the previous football coach over the AD's objection. Then he hired a coach from FSU, which means that "discipline" is a word they've seen in the dictionary, but doesn't apply. And the discipline problems with UGA are both on the field and off.
The good news is that, this year, less than half the Bulldogs have criminal records. The bad news? Everything else.
I know, you expect me to make jokes about Georgia's opponent. Because the team nickname is the Gamecocks. And, yes, their fans will shorten the nickname to "Cocks" because, well, they're South Carolina. What do you expect?
But, no, I won't stoop that low and make crude jokes like that.
I won't say the Dawgs will have to deal with the Cocks' stiff defense. Or that Georgia is in for a long, hard day with the Cocks. Or that the Bulldogs offensive line will take a pounding from the Cocks. Or that today's game will prove how bad Georgia really is, by finding out, when the Cocks get all up in Georgia's face, if Georgia sucks. Or wonder if Georgia will be up for the game, because the Cocks will certainly be up for them.
No, I shall refrain from making such comments. They have no place here.
I'm a Georgia Bulldogs fan, through thick and thin. And times are really thin right now.
Who's gonna lose? Georgia.
Boise State vs BYE
Finally, Frank J's game of the week.
When the season started, this week looked like it would be the easiest on the Broncos schedule. Georgia played like BYE last week, making last week just as easy as this week.
The Smurf should have just as easy a schedule the rest of the way, and will likely go undefeated and end up number 3 behind whoever wins the SEC and the winner of the FSU-Oklahoma game.
I'm hoping the 5 non-BCS-AQ conferences will force the NCAA to adopt my playoff system: 11 conference winners plus the top five ranked non-conference champs in a 16-team bracket.
Maybe Boise State getting left out again will help that cause. Of course, the fact that Boise State couldn't play an SEC (or B1G) schedule and wind up in the top 5 will figure into it.
Who's gonna lose? BYE.