Monday, October 1, 2012

MST3K: Episode 1008 - Final Justice

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 1008: Final Justice

First aired: Sci-Fi Channel on 20 June 1999
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon(Volume 14), Shout Factory (Volume 14), Best Brains (Volume 14)

"Just one more justice, please!"
"Go ahead. Make my day."

"May the Force be with you."

"Say 'hello' to my little friend!"

"I'll be back."

"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

You know all of those movie catch phrases. They're lines from their particular movie that caught on with the public. They weren't necessarily planned to be catchphrases, but they worked out that way.

One of the times the sheriff dies.
Now, let's look at this catch phrase: "You think you can take me? Go ahead on. It’s your move."

Yeah, that's not quite ... well, it's just not quite. It's the one that was supposed to be the catchphrase from Final Justice but never quite made it. That's because the movie kinda sucked. And, by "kinda sucked" I mean it sucked a whole lot. And, by "a whole lot" I mean that it was the most awful film shown on MST3K since ... well, the last film shown on MST3K.

It's a Joe Don Baker film, which means M&tB are going to savage it. I kinda think they didn't like Joe Don Baker. I'm pretty sure they don't like Joe Don Baker films, but it does seem like it's as much Joe Don Baker as the films they don't like.

How hero at work.
Now, I personally have no problem with Joe Don Baker as an actor. He's been in some stinkers, and he's been in some blockbusters. Did you know he's been in more James Bond films than two of the actors that actually played James Bond? Well, you do now. Now, to be sure, Joe Don Baker isn't the reason those three Bond films made a total of $764,000,000 but still...

So, were M&tB a little unfair in their treatment of Joe Don Baker? I think so. But then, again, it's kinda what they do. Or did. Actually, still do, just not on MST3K.

Now, while their particular jabs at Joe Don Baker were, I think, unfair, the jabs at the movie in general were well-deserved.

Joe Don Baker is Thomas Jefferson Geronimo (pronounced with an "h" sound, not a soft "g" sound), a Texas deputy sheriff who, when his sheriff is gunned down twice (once by the killers, once by the editors), is selected to transport the killer to Italy for some reason, rather than face Texas justice, but, along the way, the plane is diverted to Malta, where Palermo, or whatever the killer's name is, escapes and Geronimo hunts for him amongst the bars and the shops and the parades, killing all kinds of people in the process, making Captain Renault or whatever the Maltese police chief's name is, a little upset and causing international incidents and such, but he ends up killing the bad guy but thankfully, doesn't get the girl. The end.

"You think you can take me? Go ahead on. It’s your move."
It's a bad movie and a great MST3K episode.

The Host Segments are kinda silly, but all work. The Owner of a Lonely Heart bits are pure silly, but pure fun, too.

The mandatory fun decreed by Pearl? I loved it, because I hate mandatory fun. M&tB turning it on her was great. I wish I could do that.

The scene where the sheriff was killed and he slid down the wall twice was actually not in the original movie. When the movie was edited for TV, that unfortunate incident occurred, and, since MST3K always used the TV edit of a movie, that's what they got.
Mike thinks it's his turn to escape.Observer has a date.
The funny dress-up day Pearl had planned took an ugly turn. I love it when corporate nonsense goes horribly wrong.

This is a great episode.

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