Friday, January 18, 2013
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians II
It's S-A-N-T-A C-L-A-U-S
Hooray for Santy Claus!
Kimar, the children are acting strangely again.
Yes, Momar, I noticed that. It reminds me of that situation years ago when we brought Santa Claus to Mars. Dropo has done an excellent job as the Martian Santa Claus. Whatever could the problem be?
I don't know, Kimar. It can't be Christmas. That was just a few weeks ago. Perhaps we should simply ask the children.
Bomar? Gimar? I have a question for you.
. . .
Children! I have a question!
Why are you just sitting around doing nothing? We give you an education. We offer you plenty of opportunities. Plus you have a childhood filled with no worries and lots of fun. Is this not enough?
We want stuff.
But, we give you everything you need: food, shelter, love, education, opportunity...
I want an Obamaphone.
And I want free contraception.
I want to live in your basement until I'm 26.
And food stamps. Lots and lots of food stamps for all my children.
All your children? But what about the free contraception?
We see the TV from Earth. We want everything Obama promises. And if you won't give it to us, you're a racist! That's what the TV says.
I told you we should have subscribed to Fox News!
Children, this is totally unacceptable. You have to learn to be independent and to fend for yourselves. If we simply gave you...
What will you do, Kimar?
What I should have done a long time ago.