Thursday, October 3, 2013

A warning from China

You are aware that the U.S. owes China a lot of money, right? Well, we do. Not millions. Not billions. You know what comes next, right? Yeah, we owe China a buttload of money.

And, we better pay. Or they'll send the Giant Chinese Hornets.

You haven't heard about them?

Vespa mandarinia, it's called. And that's Latin or something meaning "big-ass Chinese hornet." And, they've killed 42 people and attacked nearly 1,700 others ... and that's just since July.

Didn't know China had those, did you? That's why I don't trust the CHICOMs. They're growing giant hornets and loosing them on an unsuspecting populace. But, now that we know, we can be on the lookout.

It's important because, with Shutdown, that means Government isn't spending any more money. Well, it is sending Park Police to close parks that don't receive federal funding, and to keep World War II veterans from visiting the World War II Memorial, which is to be expected from the arrogant asses running things in Washington. But, apart from that normal government stupidity, there's not a lot more money being spent. Which means we aren't building up a lot more Chinese debt.

That's a good thing, because if we owe China enough money, and they get fed up with us always asking for more money, they might release the Giant Chinese Hornets on us.

If you find yourself being attacked by a Giant Hornet, keep calm and ask it a question. Be sure to speak English. If it doesn't understand you, that means it's probably Chinese. Then, you need to run.

10 comments:

  1. Whoa. That thing's big enough to carry a small cruise missile - or a spy package.

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  2. It's a Chinese Bee-52.

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  3. chinese killer hornets and african killer bees. maybe we should arm the border control agents with Black Flag and turn 'em loose at the border. i mean, as long as they aren't being used on illegal immigrants.

    scatter a bunch of the barrycades at the border and call it a day.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You can catch those hornets with a properly planned 'sting operation.'

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  5. Fear not! It looks like global warming will kill these hornets.

    "When the Japanese honey bees detect these pheromones, a hundred or so gather near the entrance of the nest and set up a trap, keeping the entrance open. This permits the hornet to enter the hive. As the hornet enters, a mob of hundreds of honey bees surrounds it in a ball, completely covering it and preventing it from reacting effectively. The bees violently vibrate their flight muscles in much the same way as they do to heat the hive in cold conditions. This raises the temperature in the ball to the critical temperature of 46 °C (115 °F). In addition, the exertions of the honey bees raise the level of carbon dioxide (CO2) in the ball. At that concentration of CO2, the honey bees can tolerate up to 50 °C (122 °F), but the hornet cannot survive the combination of a temperature of 46 °C (115 °F) and high carbon dioxide level.[15][16] Some bees do die along with the intruder, much as happens when they attack other intruders with their stings, but by killing the hornet scout they prevent it from summoning reinforcements that would wipe out the entire colony."

    So high temperatures and Carbon dioxide concentration kills them. Take THAT environmental wackos!

    ReplyDelete
  6. @3: You had to know that I'd be a big fan of that one, didn't you?

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  7. Of course, Oppo. It's you who perspires me!

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