Tuesday, October 8, 2013

We got a T-Rex. Need a rocket.

Shutdown has stopped a dinosaur in its tracks.

There's a T-Rex in Montana that was supposed to go to the Museum of Natural History in Washington, DC. But, what with Shutdown and all, it's not going anywhere until at least April.

You know what this means? There'a a dinosaur all packed up for moving, and it's just sitting there. Waiting.

You know what I'm thinking, right? Someone could take this dinosaur, put some rocket launchers on it, and they'd have ... a dinosaur with rocket launchers!

We need somebody to check and see if Shutdown has any rocket launchers all boxed up stuck in some place, just waiting for someone with a dinosaur to make off with them.

Now, who in the IMAO group is in Montana and has time to run go pick up a dinosaur? You'll probably need a truck. Just tell the people at Dinosaurs R Us (or wherever it is that the dinosaur is sitting) that you're from the government and because of Shutdown, you have to take it so nobody can drive by and see the box of dinosaur.

Give us a shout when you get the dinosaur, and we'll find some rocket launchers. Shutdown has to have some stuck in a box somewhere.


  1. You should check in Syria. I heard we left a whole bunch of them just laying around in an embassy. I'm sure they're still there. Or in responsible hands at least.

  2. Basil, acccording to a national poll, Americans think that the most robust men live in Montana. Either they're wrong or IMAO has no most robust men.

  3. We have nobody in Montana? Or at least, in driving distance?

    I mean, Frank's in Idaho, for Pete's sake, and that's pretty much the same thing, isn't it? If he can thrive there, Montana ought to be okay. Why we not have nobody over in Big Sky Country?

  4. Not for nothing but Rocket Launchers really aren't much more than a tube with a rocket in them. Seems like it would be pretty easy to custom build them to fit the individual dinosaurs.

  5. Tubes? You mean like the Internetz?

  6. Well, it's possible that the people of Montana are SO robust that they don't need or even have an Internet. And the real men in Idaho are busy growing potatoes! The others (like Frank), are just weird. I mean, does anyone actually KNOW what Frank does besides disappearing during governmentlessness?

  7. I'm actually within walking distance of the museum where the Wankel T. Rex is packed up -- coincidentally, this is also the region where Idaho gets much of its seed potatoes.

    I can see the headlines now:

    Bone Smuggling Thugs' Bungled Spud Swap Plot a Dud -- Blight at the Museum?

    Bone Drone Loan Con Gone Wrong

    Sen. Baucus Causes Ruckus at Raucous Fossil Rocket Caucus

    Looters Use Tubers to Dupe Museum, Reroute Disputed Brute

    Gov't Shutdown: Armed Guards Bar Aspiring Jurassic Park Pyros

    Right Wing Wanks Wrangle Wankel Rex: Thanks to Prank, Frank's in the Tank

  8. @7 Dang, Les, did you used to write headlines for Variety?

    Bacon to you, sir.

    Huge smoky mounds of bacon.

  9. Thanks! I guess I just got a wild hair up my assonance.


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