Friday, July 19, 2013

Over-thinking with technology

Video screenshot by
Amanda Kooser/CNET
The nice people (I assume they're nice) at DDB in Singapore have come up with a urinal system that tests for alcohol and records if you're drunk. According to Cnet, it's a system that involves getting an RFID card when you park:
Club-goers receive an RFID parking pass when they drop their cars off at valet. A device sitting in the urinal measures alcohol levels. An RFID reader near the urinal picks up each person's parking pass. If the urine clocks in above the legal limit, a sign at eye level suggests calling a cab to get home and the system takes note.

When the partied-out patron goes to retrieve his car, he has to hand his RFID parking card over to the valet. The valet scans it and an alert pops up if the customer tested high on his urine.
Nice plan. Except for one detail.

You see, around here, I've found that many drunks don't always urinate outside their pants. That means we can usually tell without an RFID card.

Sorry to burst your bubble, guys, but them's the facts.

Maybe you can sell it to Obama's NSA. I'm sure they'll find a use for it. Maybe they'll make them required equipment on those low-water flush toilets you have to buy.


  1. You see, around here, I’ve found that many drunks don’t always urinate outside their pants. That means we can usually tell without an RFID card.

    Bear in mind that the device was developed in Singapore. You're probably in big trouble with the law in Singapore if you use your pants as a toilet. You might even be in big trouble if you get drunk in Singapore. There is a great deal to admire about Singapore, but its governments concept of civil liberties is a bit different from, say, the Cato Institute's.

  2. That should be "government's", not "governments" in the last sentence above.

  3. Be careful walking by that club at night; gonna be a lot of whizzing out the windows...

  4. Reminds me of a punch line from one of the best jokes ever:

    "Oh, he also took a dump in my pants."

  5. So I dump a couple of vodka shots in the urinal next to me for the next guy who shows up, wait outside for hilarity to ensue over his 43.08% blood alcohol content?! What fun!

  6. By the way, your comment spellchecker just autocorrected "hilarity" to "Hilary". Awesome.

  7. Note to self: do not wash hands in Singaporean public sinks.

  8. I'll be the guy outside the restroom charging 10 bucks to hold your rfid card whilst you tinkle.

  9. So women in Singapore use urinals? Man, I'm never going there.

  10. There are several places on River Street in Savannah where you can find that, too. Pay attention before you enter, is all I'm saying.


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