Thursday, July 18, 2013

The sun hates black people

NASA says the sun has fired a shot at the earth. Since the sun is so far away, it'll take a couple of days for the coronal mass ejection to reach the planet, and we don't know for sure what damage it'll do, if anything. Probably nothing more than screw up a satellite or two.

And that's the problem. The NSA uses satellites as part of its tracking of Americans, and if the sun is screwing with that, it means the sun must hate Obama. And that makes the sun racist.

There could also be aurora when the charged particles hit the upper atmosphere. And who'll see that? People way up north. Eskimos, Canadians, and other snow-dwellers. Not a lot of black people. So, the pretty lights in the sky? Not for blacks. Because the sun is racist.

That storm that flooded New Orleans a while back? You remember Hurricane Katrina, right? Well, you know what started that storm? Besides George Bush and Karl Rove? The sun. It heated up the water and then did some science stuff and then a Hurricane started and killed a bunch of black people. Because the sun is racist.

We need to take action against the sun and make it stop being racist. How do we do that?


Or maybe Facebook.

I think if we use social media to bring attention to the sun's racism, we can make it stop being racist. Or at least get Obama to raise the sun tax so it isn't able to afford to be racist.

Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best.


  1. How does this fit in to the plans to nuke the moon? Is that project being extended?

  2. We're awaiting Frank's word on that.

    It may be worth noting that Obama is having Eric Holder send a team to the sun to investigate. Of course, since the sun is so hot and bright, they're going at night.

  3. Addendum: On the CNN bottom-of-the-hour-news recap, WH Spokespuppet Jay Carney stated that the team being sent to the sun is comprised of the toughest, most intimidating members of The Black Panthers and the Nation of Islam. Carney stated that Obama feels "that crazy assed cracka sun wouldn't dare mess with those hard-rollin' brothas."

  4. Nah, nuking the sun would just be redundant. Looks like we'll have to loot a Walmart.

  5. The ejected particles need a path back to citi-sunship.

  6. Basil, I'll bet it was Biden's idea to go at night, wasn't it? And, Il Douche, being the Constitutional and science scholar that he is, figured that would be a good idea.

  7. Can they even get to the sun. After all NASA's Muslim Outreach program hasn't netted them too many scientist and you know Alah doesn't go in for all that " personal choice and thinking outside the Koran". I'm thinking unless they can rent a spaceship from the Chinese or scam the Vulcans into taking them, they're going to be gaia bound for a while.

  8. Hey if they sling shot(ted) around the sun could we go back before obama was crowned emperor of the galaxy and have a do over like in several Star Trek movies and episodes.........I vote for that.


Please choose a Profile in "Comment as" or sign your name to Anonymous comments. Comment policy