Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Microsoft Bra

Heard about the Microsoft Bra?


Mary Czerwinski is a Research Manager of the Visualization and Interaction (VIBE) Research Group at Microsoft, according to her Web page at Microsoft. She's working on a bra that has sensors that will be able to determine if the wearer is encountering stress. And, since stress often leads to over-eating, the Microsoft Bra is a diet aid.

And, apparently, it works:
The stress-busting bra was recently tested by a small group of volunteers who were able to get feedback on their moods. Microsoft built the sensor pads with a microprocessor powered by a 3.7-volt battery. It was able to sample up to eight bio-signal channels simultaneously, according to Czerwinski’s research paper...
Now, I'm uncertain how I feel about this.

Microsoft's Xbox is a good device. Let me clarify: I like the Xbox 360; I've never used an Xbox One. I've used a Microsoft Mouse, and liked it. Microsoft Office works pretty well, once I get used to where things are every release when they move everything around. But, I don't like Windows. Well, Windows 7 (which is actually Windows 6.1) works okay. XP worked alright. But Vista stunk up the joint. And, while I've not spent the money to get my hands on Windows 8 or 8.1, those I know that have, hate it on a desktop computer or a full-size laptop.

So, some stuff Microsoft gets its hands on works well, and some doesn't.

Let me ask you, ladies. Do you want Microsoft to get its hands on your bra? So to speak.

What do you think about the whole thing? Good idea?


  1. “. . . the Visualization and Interaction (VIBE) Research Group . . .”

    The first red flag is that Microsoft apparently doesn't understand how acronyms are formed.

  2. Jeff in South DakotaDecember 3, 2013 at 6:17 AM

    So, it's battery powered and provides "feedback" to the wearer to alter their moods. So, it's like my dog's "correction" collar?

  3. I thought women were giving up wired bras.

    Sounds like a good fit - for Microsoft.

    But does it lift and separate them from the competition?

    (Okay, I'm out.)

  4. The idea of a bra with windows is intriguing, but I'm not very enthusiastic about the windows condom that recently announced. A condom that is practically guaranteed to crash? Not a good idea.


  5. "eight bio-signal channels". As an engineer, I'm forced to speculate:

    1. Heart rate
    2. Temperature
    3. Pressure (!)
    4. Galvanic skin response
    5. x-axis accelerometer
    6. y-axis accelerometer
    7. z-axis accelerometer
    8. ?

    Dynamists will be interested in #5-8.

  6. Of course it has Bluetooth. Everything is better with Bluetooth.

  7. The Vagina monologues are bad enough, now women have to contend with the boobies talking to them as well?

  8. @5 Jimmy:

    re: "8. ?"

    I'm at a loss. Maybe has something to do with sound. Maybe an NSA microphone, transmitting to the Hubba Hubba Telescope?

  9. Yeah, Oppo, I was trying to fit "tilt" in there, too, but technically, it's three sensors: pitch, roll and yowza!

  10. I thought women were the ones who were in touch with their feelings. Then why do they need a piece of computerized underwear to tell them they feel stressed?

    It's us men who have no idea what we're feeling so we just get mad.

    Maybe we need the Microsoft Tighty Whities.

  11. Mine seems to be working okay...

  12. Really, Fred? Something in that area that says "micro" or "soft?" Or both?

  13. you can Play Tech Support for Playtex Support

  14. Basil: We either have no women here - or - we have no women who wear bras.

    I was just thinking:

    Bezos at Amazon is developing high-tech drones to delver products to me. Bill Gates thinks that's overly optimistic

    However, the turkeys at Microsoft are developing invasive sensors to help women with their moods. Maybe Bill's having marital problems.

  15. Jimmy:
    We got women here. We got bra-wearing women here. They're just holding back, watching the men be all juvenile. They'll remember what we said, and use it against us.

    By the way, the only thing this bra needs to determine if the woman is stressing is a audio detector. If it suddenly gets quiet, that means they're stressing. If it gets too loud, that means they're relieving the stress on us. Neither is good for the man.

  16. @Basil -- Hey, mine would be Excel!

  17. Fred:

    You do seem to have a positive Outlook about it that you can Access at any time.

  18. Okay, Basil, I'll wait for the women here to comment.

    I'm still waiting...

    *waits some more*

    *taps fingers on desk*

    (What if all the women are gone? Nooooooo!)

  19. Why don't they just make a bra that gets smaller as you get....oh wait, they already do.

  20. http://s163.photobucket.com/user/mkowalsky/media/iBoob.jpg.html


  21. So, when it upgrades will it be called a Tweak or a Patch?

  22. Sounds like those sensors could be sold as a sensor pack and attached to any clothing. MS is just using marketing by associating it with bras. Guys like talking about bras.

  23. Let me ask you, ladies. Do you want Microsoft to get its hands on your bra? So to speak.

    I thought this was a question for the ladies. Wait. All you guys are ladies??? I've been...so... wrong...

    Guys like talking about bras.

    Apparently, they do.

    And by the way...I'm back :)

  24. Yay!

    I'll bet the thing has megabytes of mammary.


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