Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The cure for what ails you

Every now and then, someone will say something that could be taken a couple of different ways. A double entendre, for those what talk all fancy-like.

I'm not about to pass up any such opportunity, often trying to respond in a way that fits both the intended and unintended meanings. The hardest part of that is keeping a straight face, and trying to look all innocent. Sometimes, I succeed in maintaining a plausible deniability.

Today, The Wife and I went to eat at a restaurant downtown for lunch. An actual sit-down restaurant, not a fast-food eatin' place.

I had already caught her in one of those unintentional turns of a phrase that could have a double meaning. And, no, I won't discuss it, other than to say she nearly spit her tea out trying not to laugh when I called her on it.

But the second, I must relay to you, because ... well ... it actually had the intended effect.

You'll see what I mean.

We were nearly done eating, and she was finishing off her seafood salad. I drank some tea, and felt a slight ... ever so slight ... twinge in my shoulder. I winced.

"You okay?" The Wife asked.

"Just my shoulder," I replied.

Since she always carries Aleve (or actually, a Walgreen's equivalent) in her purse, and since her purse was on the floor at her feet, she pointed to her purse and asked, "Would you like some of this?"

Now, we're at a small table, a four-seater. We are on adjoining sides; she's to my right, I'm to her left, and her purse is at her left foot.

She uses her right hand (she's right-handed) to point. She's pointing toward her purse. But, there's one thing in between her pointing finger and her purse that she forgot about: her lap.

So, my wife is sitting there, unknowingly pointing to her lap, and asking me, "Would you like some of this?"

I freeze, staring at her intently, then blink two, three times.

Finally, "Why, yes, I would, come to think of it."

That's when she realizes the situation.

"Oh, you! I meant some Aleve. It's in my purse. At my feet!"

I declined.

I had forgotten all about my shoulder hurting.


  1. GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please try to remember that y'alls children read this blog!


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