Saturday, September 18, 2010

How to make them stop sending you to the store for stuff

Went to Sam's Club the other day. Bought like 3000 straws and other way-too-big volumes of things.

Of course, the 3000-count box of straws was the smallest they had. Unlike, say, Wal-mart, where you can get a bag of 50 or 100. So, we got as much as we got because it's the smallest it came.

Not so for this guy in line ahead of us.

He had milk, cigarettes, Cokes, and bottled water.

Now, I'm sure that's for some business he's running. Or something.

But, I'd like to imagine it's someone who does things just a little bit different. I'd like to think it went like this:
She: Why don't you get your lazy butt off the couch and go pick me up some cigarettes.

He: Yes, dear.

She: And get some milk. Somebody drank the last of it and put the empty milk jug back in the 'fridge. And I bet that someone was you.

He: Milk. Yes, dear.

She: And I want some bottled water. And don't be spending a lot of money by getting that expensive Dasani or that Aquafina. Deer Park is fine.

He: Water. Yes, dear.

She: Oh, and Mother is coming over for supper. She likes Coca-Cola. Don't get any Shasta or some brand like that. And don't you dare get Pepsi. Mother wants Coke. Okay?

He: Cigarettes, milk, water, Coke. Yes, dear. Anything else?

She: Don't waste any money on lottery tickets. It's not up to $100 million yet. Don't waste a dollar, you hear me.

He: Yes, dear. I'll be back shortly.
I'd like to imagine he decided he'd not have to be sent to the store again the next day, so he got enough to make sure.

I'm certain that's not how it happened. But it would have been so awesome if it was.

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