Sunday, February 3, 2008

Running mates

telephone
ring ring

Caller ID
ring ring

Basil
Hello?

Mike Huckabee
Hi, this is Mike Huckabee ...

Basil
Uh...

Mike Huckabee
... calling to ask for your vote in Tuesday's election for President here in Alabama.

Basil
Well, you know I was supporting Fred Thompson and ...

Mike Huckabee
This election isn't about me, it's about we.

Basil
Why are you calling me from Las Vegas?

Mike Huckabee
The future of the conservative movement and the direction that our nation takes depends on the choice that you make.

Basil
And I chose Fred ...

Mike Huckabee
And when it comes to authenticity, conviction, and proven leadership on the fundamental issues that we conservatives care so deeply about, the choice is clear.

Basil
Yeah, Fred Thompson, but he dropped ...

Mike Huckabee
I strongly support a federal life amendment and as Governor passesd a marriage amendment to our state's constitution.

Basil
But conservatives don't monkey around with the Constitution ...

Mike Huckabee
I cut taxes 94 times and balanced the budget every year I was Governor for 10½ years.

Basil
Uh...

Mike Huckabee
We produced record job growth.

Basil
But I got a job ...

Mike Huckabee
And as President, I'll provide the leadership to pass federal marriage and life amendments and fight for the values of Alabama people.

Basil
You know I'm from Georgia, right?

Mike Huckabee
On Day One, I'll never sacrifice our principles for anybody's politics. Not now and not ever.

Basil
Okay, let me ask you...

Mike Huckabee
This is Mike Huckabee and I'll appreciate your vote.

Basil
Yeah, I know who you are, I just want to...

Mike Huckabee
Paid for by the Huckabee for President Campaign.
click

The Wife
Who was that?

Basil
It was Mike Huckabee.

The Wife
What did he want?

Basil
He's running for President.

The Wife
I thought you were voting for Fred Thompson.

Basil
Well, I was. But he dropped out.

The Wife
So, what did Mike Huckabee want?

Basil
He wants me to vote for him.

The Wife
Yeah, you Baptists stick together, don't you?

Basil
I didn't vote for Bill Clinton. Or Al Gore. So there.

The Wife
So why'd he call...

telephone
ring ring

Caller ID
ring ring

Basil
Hello?

John McCain
Hi, this is Senator John McCain.

Basil
Uh, hello.

John McCain
And I'm calling today to personally ask for your vote and make a pledge to you.

Basil
Well, I was supporting Fred Thompson before...

John McCain
As your President, I promise to lead our nation and our party as a Ronald Reagan conservative.

Basil
Uh, ...

John McCain
I'll lower your taxes, veto wasteful government spending, and make sure our party returns to the smaller government principles on which it began.

Basil
Huckabee's a preacher and you get religion?

John McCain
I'll secure our border first before pursuing any other immigration reform.

Basil
Can I just get you to secure my phone line instead?

John McCain
I'll appoint conservative judges like Justices Alito and Roberts.

Basil
You didn't answer about...

John McCain
I will protect the sanctity of life and have a 24-year record to prove it.

Basil
Are you even listening to me?

John McCain
This is my commitment to you.

Basil
Uh...

John McCain
Consider our greatest challenge as a nation is to defeat a relentless enemy: radical Islamic extremists.

The Wife
Who is it?

John McCain
My life experience has prepared me better than any other candidate to defeat this enemy.

Basil
It's John McCain...

John McCain
We and and will win this war.

Basil
I think it's John McCain.

John McCain
Again, this is John McCain.

announcer
Paid for by John McCain 2008.

Basil
Hey, put Senator McCain back on the phone. I had a question for him. Hello? Hello?

The Wife
What did he want?

Basil
He just wanted to talk.

The Wife
About what?

Basil
It doesn't matter. I'm just waiting for a Republican who will listen.

6 comments:

  1. If you really did support Fred how do you account for not knowing any amendment proposed is nothing but a pipedream??

    Did you not hear him speak about Federalism or read a full and detailed explanation of how to correctly deal with judicial activism? OR why amendments are impossible to pass and/or repeal??

    Learn what you speak of;

    How the Republican Party Committed National Suicide By JB Williams
    http://www.michnews.com/artman/publish/article_19227.shtml

    Candidate Research - Know Who You're Voting For ( The Easy Way ) http://tinyurl.com/2sowta

    ReplyDelete
  2. Did you even read what I wrote?

    Huckabee advocated it. And, yes, their words are from actual robo-calls they left on my answering machine Saturday. I wrote this post as if I had actually taken the calls.

    I don't support changing the Constitution. I'd rather have judges that don't invent law and instead, interpret the Constitution properly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Funny post. Must have taken quite a while to put it together.

    Mitt is the only choice left...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks. Yeah, took way to long for what we got out of it. But such is life.

    Hey, Mitt Romney gets props for not calling me at home on the weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's been a while since you have done a post like this, hasn't it? I used to enjoy the "Glenn Reynolds" posts in years gone by. I enjoyed this one. I especially like the "picture" of the wife. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I've gotten TWO Mitt Romney calls today. sigh...

    ReplyDelete

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