Monday, November 1, 2010

It doesn't ad up


Hello? Delaware Channel 28?

Uhhhh. What?

I'm trying to reach Channel 28. Have I reached the correct number?

Uhhhh. Sure, yeah.

This is Christine O'Donnell. I had paid to have an ad run at 11:30, and it didn't run.

Hey! You're, like, that witch lady.

Sir, I'm not a...

Is your mom, like, Endora?

Sir, I'm Christine O'Donnell, and I'm the Republican nominee for Senate, and I paid for an ad to run at 11:30, and it never aired.

Uhhhh. That's not true. We err all the time.

Yeah. If you were really a witch, you'd know that by looking in your crystal ball.

Sir, I'm not a witch, and I don't have crystal balls.

Huh-huh, huh-huh-huh-huh. You said "balls."

Sir, if I could get your attention for just a minute, I need to find out why you didn't air the ad I paid for.

Does Darren know you're running for Senator? He doesn't like it when you do things like that.

Listen to me, will you! I paid for you to run an ad on Channel 28, and it didn't run.

Uhhhh. Yeah. We ran it.

No, sir, you didn't air my ad.

Uhhh. Oh, yeah. Um. We, um, forgot.

You forgot? You didn't forget to cash my check! But you forgot to air the ad I paid for?

You know, you're not a witch. You're that "B" word. Um. What's that word?

What word?

I paid you to run an ad, and you didn't. When are you going to run it? How about in the morning?

Uhhh. Yeah. The morning.


Uhhh. Four. No, wait. Two. Or ten.

Ten o'clock will be fine. Thank you.

Say "hey" to Larry Tate for me.


Hello? Delaware Channel 28?

Uhhhh. What?

Oh, my gosh! You again?

Uhhh. Hello?

This is Christine O'Donnell again. I called you last night after you failed to air my ad. You said you'd air it this morning at 10 o'clock, and it didn't air.

Uhhh. Hello?

Is there someone else I can speak to?

Hello? You've reached the party to whom you are speaking.

Oh, my goodness. Let me try again. I'm Christine O'Donnell, and I paid for you to run an ad. And you didn't run it.

Yeah, we did.

No, you didn't.

Oh, yeah. We didn't. We forgot.

When do you plan on airing my ad?

We're really busy right now. There's an election and stuff. So, we'll get to it next week. Okay.

No, sir, that's not okay. Tuesday is election day, and my ad needs to air.

Why aren't you as fun as your cousin Serena?

I think her cousin's name is Sarah. I can never tell them apart.

Okay, guys, look. I've tried to be patient. I don't want to have to get you guys fired...

Fire! Yes, yes, fire, fire, fire!

This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before.

Tell me about it.

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