What to do about WikiLeaks

Everyone is shocked -- shocked! -- to discover that WikiLeaks has continued to release secret and confidential documents despite the urging of the Obama administration.

It's almost like Obama can't make people act nice by asking them. Didn't the whole world listen to the 2008 campaign? Obama can stop the oceans from rising; he should be able to stop Iran from developing nukes and Julian Assange from releasing documents that are harmful to the U.S. interestes.

Unless, of course, Obama isn't really interested in American interests. But that's silly. I mean, it's not like he grew up in another country. It's not like Obama is interested in a post-America world. It's not like he's bowing to foreign leaders.

No, there's no evidence whatsoever that Obama is secretly cool with the WikiLeaks releases. And, despite Obama being the most awesome thing since man descended from the trees and discovered TiVo, Assange went ahead and released the documents.

Now that the impossible has happened, what can Obama do about it?

• Blame George Bush
• Go golfing
• Play basketball
• Send Joe Biden to talk to Julian Assange
• Increase pat-downs at airports
• Go on vacation
• Extend the healthcare law
• Send SEIU personnel to "talk" to Julian Assange
• Go golfing
• Let tax cuts expire
• Email Assange a Microsoft Windows virus
• Release the GTMO detainees
• Go golfing
• Give an speech, using a woman who will lose her job in six months as a prop

Perhaps there are other things Obama can do to temper the damage of these leaks and prevent future leaks. Ideas? Anyone?