Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Solving the TSA problem

Some people are getting all bent out of shape about the TSA naked scanners and the grope-downs.

But not everybody.

Gloria Allred says she enjoyed it.

Maybe we're going about this whole thing wrong.

Maybe what we need to do is have some choices. More choices, anyway.

Right now, we have two choices: get your naked scan done, or get felt-up by someone who couldn't get a real job. Men are getting groped by men, women are getting groped by women.

And that's the problem. Not enough choices.

The TSA needs to offer a choice. Let each person who opts for a grope-down get to choose the groper:
  • Straight man
  • Straight woman
  • Gay man
  • Gay woman
  • Bisexual man
  • Bisexual woman
  • Hermaphrodite
  • Supermodel
  • Chippendales dancer
  • Bond girl
  • Bondage girl
  • Blind girl
  • Eddie Long
  • Eddie Haskell
  • Mr. Ed
  • Mr. Green Jeans
  • Mr. Mister
  • Miss America
Who would it take to grope you so that you wouldn't mind it?


  1. Basil, I am pretty sure that I wouldn't mind a good grope from at least one of the categories of chicks mentioned.

    But, I would not want to be groped by any woman stupid enough to be hired by the TSA.

  2. Excellent point.

    If brains mattered.


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