Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Winter Olympics Primer: Curling

Curling is a popular sport that nobody understands. What I mean is nobody understands why it is popular. Perhaps we can Help! Here's your Guide to Curling.

Play begins when the team's Mad Scientist -- don't let these technical terms confuse you, just follow along -- hands the next player (called the "Lead Guitarist") the Fiendish Thingy.

The Lead Guitarist takes the Fiendish Thingy and runs forward...

... then slides it down the ice toward the other players.

The goal is to knock over the player with the French-looking shirt (called the "Drummer").

If the Lead Guitarist fails to knock over the Drummer, he and another player (called the "Lead Singer") tackle the Drummer...

... dragging him across a red line to where another player (called the "Bass Player") is positioned.

The Fiendish Thingy then blows up...

... at which time the team locates the White Cliffs of Dover. First one there wins.

Now, you'll be able to enjoy Curling with a firm knowledge of the rules. I'm glad we could Help!


  1. A very under-rated movie.

  2. @1 - Can a fella get a reference link on that under-rated movie?

  3. It all makes sense now.

  4. Fun Trivia:

    I remember reading John (or George)'s recollection of the filming of that scene.

    The scene called for them to run away from the bomb, but it didn't say where they should stop running. They kept going and going. They crested a hill and just kept running until they were secluded enough to light up a joint and get high(er).

  5. Harvey:

    Here's the 21st century link:!/id657312570

    Here's the 20th century link:

  6. ... and, if it was a Curling primer, was the burning fuse redundant?

  7. @5 - I don't want to buy the thing, so I'll settle for the 19th century link:

  8. The best thing you've posted here yet, Basil!! Well done!

  9. "The best thing you’ve posted here yet"

    Oooh, I don't know about that. The bit about that cutie football team guy was kinda nifty.

    Though you could've posted a few piccies of the guy looking all muscley and covered in coconut oil. Just saying.

  10. Only those guys could parlay their fame into four spots on the British Olympic Team. I blame Princess Margaret. The woman had a thing for Glenlivet and Ringo. Probably shrieked in the Queen's ear nonstop until she relented. It got them their MBEs. The yelling from Margaret, plus the band sold more records than Her Majesty that year. Eric Burdon was going to try out for the Pentathalon. Only thing was he couldn't ski. He could shoot empty bottles of Watney's off of the heads of the statuary surrounding his swimming pool though. He beat John Entwistle who was a crack shot with a flintlock. Jimi tied him, but he had that Yank army background as a paratrooper.

  11. Love it, Basil! Help! is the movie that was my discovery of the Beatles, at age 11, in 1979. Went through my own personal Beatlemania and believe me, it was not easy being a Beatles fan in Jr. High--funny how all those kids who thought I was a weirdo back then now act as if being a Beatles fan were the most natural thing in the world (which it is, of course). Thank heaven for Cleveland's Channel 8 and the 4 o'clock movie they played every weekday, back in the day.

  12. Can you explain Cricket now too?

  13. There's just no going wrong with this film.

  14. When can we see the explanation of Cricket? I'm not sure, but I believe the rules explained in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy are for a more robust game than is played in Britain and parts of the former British Empire.


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