Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Are You Being Served?

Ground floor: Perfumery, stationary, and leather goods, wigs and haberdashery, kitchenware and food. Going up...

First floor: Telephones, gents ready made suits, shirts, suits, ties, hats, underwear, and shoes. Going up...

Are you being served, sir?

Yes, we come from Iran. We look for freedom and democracy. You have a president? Mr. Bush? He help us, no?

I'm sorry, sir, but Mr. Bush has retired.

Yes, old Mr. Bush, you fire. We know. We want young Mr. Bush.

The confusion is understandable, sir. Both old Mr. Bush and young Mr. Bush have left our service.

You have Clinton?

Yes, as a matter of fact. Mrs. Clinton, are you free?

I'm free, Captain Peacock.

No, no. Not woman Clinton. Man Clinton, he help in Kosovo.

I'm sorry, sir, but Mr. Clinton has retired as well. If Mrs. Clinton won't do, perhaps our Junior, Mr. Obama can assist.

Obama? I like name. We talk with him.

Mr. Obama, are you free?

I'm free, Captain Peacock.

These good people would like some freedom and democracy.

Freedom and democracy? Ah, I see. Well, um, it's, um, like this, you see. Um, we don't really provide freedom and democracy.

But neighbor Iraq get freedom and democracy from you.

Oh, sir, not from me. No, sir. Not from me. Not at all. We did have a man here recently that, I believe, provided freedom and democracy to Iraq. But that was wrong. Very wrong, sir.

But Iraq like freedom and democracy. Oh, it not fit exactly, but Mr. Bush tell them it ride up with wear. And that happen. Now we want freedom and democracy.

If I might beg your pardon sir, didn't you have a free and democratic election recently? That seems to me to be freedom and democracy already.

We have election. But it, how do you say, not a free and democratic election.

Oh, but sir. There was a selective recount, wasn't there? And there were more votes cast than people living there, were there not? That's how the Democrats in my country do it.

You will not help me with freedom and democracy?

Oh, I don't see how I could, sir. But if you would bring your leaders here, I'm sure I can charm them so that they will just ooze freedom and democracy.

I see we have come to wrong place.

Thank you for coming by, sir. We hope we can be of asssitance in the future.

Ah, young Mr. Obama. I was watching how that was handled that. You've all done very well!

Thank you, Mr. Soros.

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