- In a slap-fight between Perez Hilton and will.i.am, who wins? Everybody!! #
- You think we could talk France onto a trade? We get Sarkozy and they get Obama, Pelosi, Reid, and a first-round draft choice. #tcot #
- Obama toughens his talk on Iran http://tr.im/pwRg Obama status upgraded from "pussy" to "weakling" #tcot #
- "Jon & Kate" breakup wins large TV audience http://tr.im/pwUb Now plan to stay together for the sake of breakup #
- Jessica Simpson returns to reality TV http://tr.im/pwUw Hopes to one day have a grasp of reality #
- Police search for naked french fry thief http://tr.im/pwW8 Described as short, with one eye #
- Neanderthals made mammoth jerky http://tr.im/pwXI Cro-Magnon had a calming effect #
- Latino Leaders Call for Illegal Immigrants to Boycott Census http://tr.im/pwXZ Finally, change we can believe in #tcot #
- New Military Command for Cyberspace http://tr.im/pwYK Will stop cyber-terrorism as effectively as it stops spam #
- Occasional Smoker, 47, Signs Tobacco Bill http://tr.im/pwZ8 Will sign anti-drug bill when his usage drops to "occasional" #tcot #
- Poland Gets 1st Openly Gay Rabbi http://tr.im/px5i Refuses salary, only takes tips #
- Police Say 334 Bunnies Found in New Mexico Woman's Yard http://tr.im/px98 Hugh Hefner sought for questioning #
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