Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Rehabilitating Mel

It must suck to be Mel Gibson right now. And I say "right now" because at one time, it was great to be Mel Gibson. Or so it seemed.

He had a bunch of hit movies. Like Lethal Weapon and Lethal Weapon 2 and Lethal Weapon 3 and ...

Actually, he had a lot of hit movies ... as well as some not so hit movies.

But, for a while, he was golden.

Now, not so much. First, there was his drunk driven arrest about four years back. Now, there's the audio tapes (more than one) of his argument with his girlfriend. You usually have to attend a cabinet meeting featuring both Rahm Emanuel and Joe Biden to get that much crazy and profanity in one place.

Right now, if you read the news, Mel Gibson is seen at Satan incarnate. And, though he's a talented actor, director and screenwriter, it seems that his career might be over. Unless he can be rehabilitated. But, is that possible? I think it might be.

It will be tough, though. Giving money to save the rain forest won't work. He's done that. Give millions to help sick children? Done that. No, that's not nearly enough.

So, what would it take to rehabilitate Mel Gibson?
  • The promise to not make Mad Max 4.
  • The promise to not make Lethal Weapon 5.
  • The promise to not make What Women Want II.
  • Claim an oil spill that occurred 457 days after George Bush left office is Bush's fault.
  • Claim a terrorist attack that occurred 234 days after George Bush took office is Bush's fault.
  • Declare 9/11 an inside job.
  • Make a movie with Hugo Chavez.
  • Call the Tea Party "too white" then call for the only black on the Supreme Court to resign.
  • Drug and anally rape a 13-year-old girl.
  • Hang around a polling place with a bat, threatening to kill some crackers.
Perhaps this would be enough to return Mel Gibson to everyone's good graces.

Is he crazy? Yeah, probably. But, he's not the right kind of crazy. He needs to be batsh*t crazy, barking moonbat crazy, to get his career back.

I'm not sure it's worth it.


  1. I'm guessing he has been a haemorrhoid all of his life--he just used to have a better PR agent with a good pooper-scooper to clean up after him.

  2. OH how you make me laugh.



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