Basil's Blog: Cussin' at Work

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Cussin' at Work

Since the truckstop closed (they never did change over their tanks and the EPA shut them down), I been sort of taking it easy working. but as long as the old lady had her job down at the club, it aint' been too bad.

But with gas prices going up and her boobs starting to point down, money's been a little tight. So I got me a job.

I asked folks about jobs, but weren't nobody hiring except the Army. And they wouldnt' take me because of this thing that happened back in college. I probly shoudnt have told them about it, but heck, it was good money and the goat weren't hurt none. Still, they wouldnt' let me sign up.

So, my cousin Basil got me a job working with the Brunswick branch of that company he works for. Even though he wears a tie to work every day, folks there don't ahve to. And soem places in that company lets folks wear blue jeans. so, I got on out there.

Even though they are okay with wearing regular clothes and such, they are sticklers about some stuff. They didn't like the way I talk about stuff. They said my language was a little rough. My thinking was "~~Hay~~ Hey, this is work, it aint' sunday morning church". But they got there funny ways of thinking about things.

Anyway, the lady I work for (who's pretty hot, to tell you the truth) had what she called a "counselling session" with me yesterday. Iit was about the way I talks. She don't like the way I talk. Here's the notes she gave me:

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f**k you're doing.

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f**king b***h.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f**k do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f**king way.

TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be s**tting me!

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a s**t.

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f**king problem.

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f**k?

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This s**t won't work.

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f**k didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a**.

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD FO: Eat s**t and die.

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a**.

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F**k it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a**.

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f**king job sucks.

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f**k died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a p***k.

If you work for some fancy-schmancy place that don't like you to talk like normal, you might want to try these suggestions. I'll you you know how they go for me. And if I'm lucky ... well, I told you the lady supervisor was hot. And I think she likes me.

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