Sunday, April 16, 2006

Lawnmower Trouble

The grass needs cutting. I hate cutting grass, but it needs to happen.

A couple of years ago, we bought a new Sears riding mower. And it's time to break it out for trimming the green growth now occupying the yard. But we haven't prepared it for service this year. And it needs servicing.

I mentioned to the Wife the other day about loading it on the back of the truck and taking it to Sears for a full service. She's not too sure about that. And to be honest, if she knew the full story about the last time I transported a riding lawn mower on the back of a truck, she'd never let me take it to town.

I've never told the story to her, and I'm not going to tell her now. But I'll tell you. Just don't let her know about it. Since she doesn't read this little blog, it'll be just between you and me, okay?

I was a teenager, and my father had some piece of crap Ford truck. Well, to be honest, it had all the requirements he needed in most of the vehicles he bought: It was a piece of crap. Seriously, he never bought a new car or truck in his life. He always bought something that someone else had problems with and traded it in.

But enough of his vehicle choices. Let me tell you about the lawn mower.

He had put the riding mower in the shop (it was a piece of crap, too; you see a pattern, right?) and I had to drive to town and pick it up.

I pulled into the shop and they loaded it on the back of the truck. And I drove off, taking a right turn out of the shop. At the main street in my hometown, I took another right, and stopped at the red light at the center of town.

On one corner was city hall. On another was a large bank (used to be a hospital there, but there's been a bank since the 1960s). On another corner was the largest pharmacy in town. And on the other corner was one of the largest clothing stores in town. And I was stopped at the light, about third in line.

When the light turned green, I pressed the accelerator and the truck started forward.

Let's pause for a moment and consider Newton's First Law: Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.

Now, consider that "at rest" is a state of motion. That is to say, if an item is at rest, it will remain at rest unless acted upon by an external force.

That includes lawn mowers. And it's more apparent if the lawn mower does not have the brakes engaged. And it becomes even more apparent if the piece of crap truck doesn't have a tailgate.

What happens is the lawn mower stays still when the truck moves forward. And, if it weren't for gravity, it would float in mid-air.

But my hometown has gravity. And the gravity caused the lawn mower to travel in a downward path at a rate of acceleration of approximately 16 feet per second per second. And, although the distance isn't a great distance, it's enough to cause damage to the mower.

So, there I am, in the center of town, with a newly repaired lawn mower ... freshly broken and blocking the main street of the city.

Some kind residents, making an honest effort to hold in their laughter, helped get the mower back on the bed of the truck, positioned it sideways (or nearly so) in order that it wouldn't roll out again, and I went on my merry way.

You know, thinking about it now, I might let the Wife take the lawn mower to Sears.

8 comments:

  1. Hmm, does this mean that sometimes men are not as smart as you think? Or was it that the lawnmower didn't want to cut grass either?

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  2. Hmmm. The lawn mower was attempting suicide? I wish I had thought of that.

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  3. Keep in mind hip high to me is about knee high to everyone else.

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  4. Oh no basil....LOLOLOL I'm sorry to laught but damn. LOLOL

    And my riding lawnmower needs a new starter. It's an old Murray. Bought a new battery and that was NOT what was wrong but oh well. SO today my mission is to call around to small engine shops to see about a starter.

    My backyard is about hip high now. LOL

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  5. Well, just goes to show you womenfolk are faster on the draw! heh

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  6. Yeah, that happens to all of us at one time or another.

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  7. Whenever my son has to mow the lawn, the lawnmower suffers an accident and cannot be used. Is it possible that subconciously you were helping the lawnmower commit suicide?

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  8. Force = Mass times Acceleration. That lawnmower had sufficient mass to break it's dinky little wheels pretty well I'll betcha.

    If it makes you feel any better, I got a set of 100% steel (and paint) lawn-furniture in a box from Home Depot once. The guys who loaded it on said it was too heavy to need tying down (my suggetion) as they loaded it into the pick-up I rented from them in order to lug it all to my house.

    Well, air flowing over the back of a pick-up cab at 45 mph creates suction. It lifted out of the truck bed from right behind the cab, over the closed gate and onto the highway. The box shredded and everything. Fortunately, since thye had done the packing and securing, they had to replace it and I would have happily paid $5.00 extra to have the pick-up out a little longer, but they waived that too since I had lost time dodging speeding vehicles and clearing the highway just yards from my house.

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