Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Contest

Our first night of vacation in Panama City Beach, we were hungry. Anybody who has seen me knows that I eat when I get hungry. So, we went out to eat.

The folks who own the house where we're staying mentioned several different restaurants to us, including a Chinese restaurant that had a sushi bar.

I'm not a fan of sushi, but the Wife is. And since the place was a buffet place, that meant we'd be heading there at least one time while we were here. Saturday night was the night. We headed through that hell called Panama City Beach traffic, crossed the Hathaway bridge, and found the Empire China Restaurant.

Now, this is actually related. You'll see how in a minute.

Remember in The Princess Bride where the Dread Pirate Roberts (Westley, played by Cary Elwes) fought Fezzik (played by André the Giant)? After defeating Fezzik, the Dread Pirate Roberts told the unconscious giant "rest well ... and dream of large women."

Keep that image in your mind. The kind of women Fezzik would dream about. Not fat women. But large women.

What's that got to do with eating at a Chinese restaurant?

Well, there were, at various tables, large women. Not fat women, mind you. But large women. Of which Fezzik might dream.

That caught my eye, because you don't see that every day. Well, I don't, at least.

But something else caught my eye. Most were seating across from -- or at the table with -- small Mexican men.

While I ate my meal, I pondered that. And could reach no conclusion.

Unless the fact that we were in Panama City had something to do with it. It's a spring break town. It's a party town. And groups that visit places like that have unconventional contests.

Perhaps a group of young Mexican men were trying to see who could get the largest Caucasian woman.

Or perhaps a group of young White women were trying to see who could hook up with the smallest Mexican man.

Either way, it was going to be a close contest.

I can hardly wait to see what happens next.

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