Friday, March 26, 2010

A letter to Sandra Bullock

Dear Sandra,

I was sorry to hear about your current difficulties. When troubles hit a marriage, it's always sad.

This time is very difficult for you, and all of your fans share this common feeling: What the hell were you thinking?

Jesse James?

Seriously? Jesse James?

Who the f**k is Jesse James? You married a guy whose claim to fame is a show on basic cable? Until he married you, when his claim to fame became ... being married to you.

Okay, perhaps I can understand that marrying some other high profile celebrity might not be a stable relationship. So marrying someone less famous might not be a bad thing.

But Jesse James?

This was not some arranged marriage where you didn't meet him until the wedding, was it? If so, that would explain things. But still not a good idea.

You did take a look at him, right? He looks like someone who'd be linked with some tattooed slut.

Or even other sluts.

But, I understand. You can only choose from the available pool. And, since I'm married, you have to settle for someone else.

But Jesse James?

Girl, think about what you're doing. Decisions like that are important.

Jesse has apologized. But now it looks like he's been stepping out for a while now. With multiple females. He's blown his chance with you. Dump his sorry ass.

And, if you find someone you think might be "the guy," do some digging. Or, find an intelligent, independent observer who can help.

In other words, call me.

Yours,

Basil

1 comment:

  1. Dear Basil,

    You're a funny, funny guy.
    Looking forward to hearing more on this subject.

    Sincerely,

    Basil's Wife's Lawyers

    Dewy, Cheatam and Howe
    Attorneys at Law

    ReplyDelete

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