Headline News

Real headlines from real news sites with not-so-real subheads

From ABC News:

Bank of America Beats Expectations

Expectations threaten to sue

From ABC News:

NASA Collects Urine to Test Space Toilet

If experiment fails, will really be pissed

From BBC:

Lesbos locals lose attempt to ban use of the term 'lesbian'

Plan B: Change city name to "Dykesville"

From BBC:

Computer mouse faces extinction

Sierra Club calls for ban on touch screens

From CNN:

Cruise ship dancer killed by police

Isaac, Gopher escape

From CBS News:

Obama: Surge Doesn't Meet Long-Term Goals

Has made US surrender nearly impossible

From Fox News:

Mars Phoenix Lander Pulls All-Nighter

"Space Probes Gone Wild" video series released

From Fox News:

Animal Shelter Will House Dogs Trained to Have Sex With Woman

Will attempt to teach dogs missionary position

From Fox News:

'View' Host Sherri Shepherd: 'I Had More Abortions Than I Would Like to Count'

Mother had one too few

From Fox News:

Star Explodes Unnotice

Al Qaeda claims credit