Thursday, December 9, 2004

Hurry on Down to Hardee's. And Don't Forget Your Trash

You know how biggest isn't always best? Oh. Well, biggest isn't always best. Now you know that. Anyway, the biggest of the fast food chains, McDonald's, isn't the best. At least as far as the food is concerned. Hardee's is. Them burgers is good!

But recently, I've seen stories in the news about the new Monster Thickburger. It seems the Center for Nosy People with Way Too Much Time on Their Hands has criticized the new burger, calling it "food porn" and the "equivalent of a snuff film." Hey, as long as Nicolas Cage doesn't make a movie about it. But back to the topic.

They are whining about how many calories, how much fat, how bad for you the new burger is. To which I say, "So?" Have you seen the new burger? It's got 2 patties (1/3 lb. each), 4 strips of bacon (and not those little teeny strips like at Burger King, but honest-to-goodness full-size bacon strips), 3 slices of cheese, and mayonnaise. Oh, and it's on a buttered, toasted bun. And no silly, wimpy, healthy stuff like lettuce or tomatoes or anything. Mmmm, burger.

Anyway, it's making news that this burger is not good for you. Well, duh! It's a heart attack on a bun. But it's good eatin' I'm telling you. And I don't want to hear no whiny wimps from Washington DC telling me "it's bad." Hey, I'm already overweight. So what?

Apparently, people where they come from are able to get a driver's license, get jobs (or knock over liquor stores) for money, negotiate traffic, and walk upright into a Hardee's, but are not able to figure out that eating a big-ass burger is bad for you. But, around here, we know it's bad for you. We just don't care. Or maybe we do. But if I want to eat one of those things, what's it to you? Or, more to the point, to them? I think I'll eat one and send them the dirty napkins. If you want to do the same, their address is:
Center for Science in the Public Interest
1875 Connecticut Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20009
So, there.

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