Monday, December 27, 2004

More Headline News Returns

As promised, the latest Headline News from around what's left of the planet.
From The Hawaii Channel:
Airline Accuses DOT Of Corruption, Mismanagement
Sister of Yakko and Wakko denies the charges

From The Bakersfield Channel:
NASA Retires Mothership After Nearly 50 Years
Ceremony at Area 51 closed to public

From The Iowa Channel:
Christmas Standoff Rattles Clive; Suspect At Large
Barker said to be an emotional wreck, writing new book

Red Light Cameras Approved By City Council
Whorehouses watched 24/7 by perves in city government

From The Denver Channel:
High Winds Wreak Havoc Along Front Range
Kitchen door left open again

From The Washington Post:
Redskins Lose a Heartbreaker to Cowboys
Same story for past 150 years

From The Washington Post:
Dad Puts 3 Sons' Presents On EBay
Kids retaliate, put dad's past on EBay

From The Washington Post:
Fire, Logging Threaten Borneo's Rich Ecosystem
Weekly World News to go elsewhere for dinosaur stories

From The Washington Post:
An Arab Politics-Free Zone
The Gaza Cemetery

From The Washington Post:
Fast Food Takes a Bite Out of Chinese Culture
Chinese Culture maces Fast Food

From The Washington Post:
The Proper Spirit Of Getting
A Blue State Christmas

From The New York Times:
As Nuclear Secrets Emerge in Khan Inquiry, More Are Suspected
Ricardo Montalban held for questioning

From The New York Times:
Despite Expense, Europeans Turn to Maine for Holiday Feast
Beats the hell out of eating snails

From The New York Times:
Israel Restricts Cellphone Pornography
Can You Hear Me Now? Good, What Are You Wearing?

From The New York Times:
An 80-Minute Symphony and a Bare Soprano
It's really over when the fat lady sings

Calif. judge hears gay marriage arguments
Top arguments: who controls the checkbook, leaving the seat up

From CBS News:
Bush Spreads Cheer To Troops
Cheney delivers Tide, Rumsfeld offers Gain

From The Washington Post:
Powell Hails Ukraine Election
Thought it was a cab

From The Washington Post:
For Bush, Key Foreign Policy Goals Intersect
President: "And if you hold it this way, it looks like a horsey."

From The Washington Post:
AOL Spam Down 75 Pct
AOL only sending a fraction of what it once did; however, incoming spam still up

From The New York Times:
Peyton Manning Breaks Marino's Record
Manning promises to buy Marino a new "Sgt. Pepper" album

From The New York Times:
Cuba Counters Prostitution With AIDS Programs
Most tourists still choose the prostitutes

From The New York Times:
Now, You Can Eat With Your Hands
New York discovers fried chicken

From The New York Times:
URBAN STUDIES: The Sounds of Silence
Simon and Garfunkel release rap album

From The New York Times:
Rice University Computer Scientists Find a Flaw in Google's New Desktop Search Program
A search for "Yahoo!" returned no hits

From CNN:
Student raises $30,000 for orphans in Uganda
Sold them on eBay

From CNN:
Ban on Christmas carols sparks debate
Topic: Is litigant an a****** or a d********?

From CNN:
Study: Whales suffer the bends
Whalesong actually cries of pain; Star Trek IV to be refilmed using monkeys

From CNN:
H'wood actor freed from Pakistani prison
To star in sequel, "Dude, Where's My Virginity?"

From CNN International:
Maxis duel in Sydney-Hobart race
Kotex, Stayfree battle for lead

From CNN money:
The return of the $6,000 shower curtain
Long Lines at Wal-Mart Customer Service Desk

From ABC News:
Gay Marriage Amendment Not Coming Soon
Thinking about baseball

From ABC News:
George Carlin Entering Drug Rehab Clinic
Entire world shocked that George Carlin may have taken drugs

From Fox News:
Report: Drug Firms on Lookout for Moore
Filmmaker has missed his medications a lot lately

Oh, by the way, my big sister (the one that's 5'4") is celebrating a birthday today. But I won't tell how old she is. Or will I?

Excel Eye Axe.


  1. yay! the healthy Basil is back! funny headline post grows longer, and even funnier than usual. Yakko and Wakko's sister, hilarious!

  2. Thanks. And hope your cold is better, too.

  3. I won't tell how old the big sister is either. However, as a former math teacher, her age is the perfect square of what many call the perfect number. Isn't that just perfect? She'll probably find a way to commit the perfect murder now. :lol:

  4. Big Sister (who's still only 5December 29, 2004 at 3:46 PM

    I'm becoming fond of old lace and the smell of almonds...


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