Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Return of Son of Headline News

From AJC:
Between all the giggling, a lesson in baby-sitting
The Michael Jackson Story

From CNN money:
McDonald's eyes PETA-friendly option
Squash McNuggets

From CNN money:
Toy maker equips toy train with condom
O'Jays re-release "Love Train"

From The New York Times:
More Oil Is Thought Spilled From Freighter Off Alaska
It's too cold to actually go out and look

From The Washington Post:
Two Missing, Four Hurt in Plant Blast
Geranium explodes

From The New York Times:
A Bond Tragedy and Time Couldn't Break
Diana Rigg's death in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" recalled

From ABC News:
Judge: Serial Killer Can Decide to Die
... or we could convince him

From ABC News:
Ex-Bartender Loses Makeup Fight in Court
Tammy Faye kicks his butt

From ABC News:
Russia Ends Free Rides for U.S. Astronauts
Edgar Winter CDs no longer allowed

From ABC News:
Why Would-Be Moms Are Liking Vikings
Randy Moss' $7,896,787.00 salary

From ABC News:
Action Figures for Adults Who Won't Grow Up
New from Mattel: Britney Spears

From ABC News:
Ohio Recount Ends, Shows Vote Closer
President's 118,457 vote win throws entrie country into disarray

From The Washington Post:
Endangered Ferrets Make Comeback in Ariz.
Beat Sun Devils in overtime

From The Washington Post:
Ukrainian Victor Backs New Protest
Viktor Victorious in Victory over Viktor

From The Washington Post:
AP: Freed Polish Hostage Feared Rescue
Felt better when told rescue was a good thing

From The Washington Post:
Canada Looks for Spot in the Big Picture
Canada's dog has been missing since Sunday

From The Washington Post:
Thinking Woman
New fiction bestseller

From The Washington Post:
For the Rejects Of Christmas, A 2nd Chance
Island of Misfit Toys reopens

From The Washington Post:
Evolution Shares a Desk With 'Intelligent Design'
But separate lockers

From The New York Times:
A Twisted Sitcom Makes the Simpsons Look Like Saints
... and Futurama Look Like 49'ers

From The New York Times:
Small Wineries Being Acquired by Big Names
Mondavi Winery acquired by Andrjuljawierjuskoutsoghianopoulos Wineries

From The New York Times:
Blockbuster Threatens Hostile Bid for Rival
Crock Pot maker, Industry surprised by move

From The New York Times:
America Online Reports Drop in Spam
Hormel stock plummets on report

From CNN:
High-rise hawks spotted in new nest
Were striped in old nest

From CNN:
Author Susan Sontag dies at 71
Who will sing the praises of the 9/11 hijackers now?

From CNN:
FDA approves new drug for severe pain
Prialt, due in January, not expected to be linked to heart disease until 2008

From CNN:
Asteroid Earth impact in 2029 ruled out
U.N. rejects plan

From The Omaha Channel:
Present, Future Governor To Lay Out 2005
Statement: "We've had our fill of 2005 running his mouth off and we're going to do something about it."

From WRAL:
Man Loses Control Of Vehicle, Plows Through Cemetery
Witness: "It was awful. There were bodies everywhere."

9 comments:

  1. You are no less than an artist when it comes to this particular genre.

    I want an autographed copy of Son of the Son of Headline News when it goes on sale, okay?

    ReplyDelete
  2. btw...have you ever considered becoming a writer for someone that likes to stand up on a stage and make people laugh? i figure you'd be doing it yourself if you didn't like the anonymity(did i spell that right?) of the humor blog.
    food for thought...

    ReplyDelete
  3. i want mine signed " To Moehawk, My Other Loyal Reader".....:)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Big Sis (Who's Still Only 5'4"December 30, 2004 at 3:39 AM

    See! I told you you were funny! Conan started that way... Send some of this stuff in to Conan or Jay or Dave. Dave! Letterman or Barry...doesn't matter...

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are right, sis. Why should I continue to hide this stuff here on the Internet where only 6 billion people can see it? I'm sure glad you're there to keep me focused.

    ReplyDelete
  6. OK...no more comments

    ReplyDelete
  7. glad i wasn't at your family's holiday gathering! rrrroooOOWWW! PFFFT!
    but seriously, if you could get paid for your talent, why not?

    ReplyDelete

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