From AJC:
Between all the giggling, a lesson in baby-sitting
The Michael Jackson Story
From CNN money:
McDonald's eyes PETA-friendly option
Squash McNuggets
From CNN money:
Toy maker equips toy train with condom
O'Jays re-release "Love Train"
From The New York Times:
More Oil Is Thought Spilled From Freighter Off Alaska
It's too cold to actually go out and look
From The Washington Post:
Two Missing, Four Hurt in Plant Blast
Geranium explodes
From The New York Times:
A Bond Tragedy and Time Couldn't Break
Diana Rigg's death in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" recalled
From ABC News:
Judge: Serial Killer Can Decide to Die
... or we could convince him
From ABC News:
Ex-Bartender Loses Makeup Fight in Court
Tammy Faye kicks his butt
From ABC News:
Russia Ends Free Rides for U.S. Astronauts
Edgar Winter CDs no longer allowed
From ABC News:
Why Would-Be Moms Are Liking Vikings
Randy Moss' $7,896,787.00 salary
From ABC News:
Action Figures for Adults Who Won't Grow Up
New from Mattel: Britney Spears
From ABC News:
Ohio Recount Ends, Shows Vote Closer
President's 118,457 vote win throws entrie country into disarray
From The Washington Post:
Endangered Ferrets Make Comeback in Ariz.
Beat Sun Devils in overtime
From The Washington Post:
Ukrainian Victor Backs New Protest
Viktor Victorious in Victory over Viktor
From The Washington Post:
AP: Freed Polish Hostage Feared Rescue
Felt better when told rescue was a good thing
From The Washington Post:
Canada Looks for Spot in the Big Picture
Canada's dog has been missing since Sunday
From The Washington Post:
Thinking Woman
New fiction bestseller
From The Washington Post:
For the Rejects Of Christmas, A 2nd Chance
Island of Misfit Toys reopens
From The Washington Post:
Evolution Shares a Desk With 'Intelligent Design'
But separate lockers
From The New York Times:
A Twisted Sitcom Makes the Simpsons Look Like Saints
... and Futurama Look Like 49'ers
From The New York Times:
Small Wineries Being Acquired by Big Names
Mondavi Winery acquired by Andrjuljawierjuskoutsoghianopoulos Wineries
From The New York Times:
Blockbuster Threatens Hostile Bid for Rival
Crock Pot maker, Industry surprised by move
From The New York Times:
America Online Reports Drop in Spam
Hormel stock plummets on report
From CNN:
High-rise hawks spotted in new nest
Were striped in old nest
From CNN:
Author Susan Sontag dies at 71
Who will sing the praises of the 9/11 hijackers now?
From CNN:
FDA approves new drug for severe pain
Prialt, due in January, not expected to be linked to heart disease until 2008
From CNN:
Asteroid Earth impact in 2029 ruled out
U.N. rejects plan
From The Omaha Channel:
Present, Future Governor To Lay Out 2005
Statement: "We've had our fill of 2005 running his mouth off and we're going to do something about it."
From WRAL:
Man Loses Control Of Vehicle, Plows Through Cemetery
Witness: "It was awful. There were bodies everywhere."
You are no less than an artist when it comes to this particular genre.
ReplyDeleteI want an autographed copy of Son of the Son of Headline News when it goes on sale, okay?
me too!
ReplyDeletebtw...have you ever considered becoming a writer for someone that likes to stand up on a stage and make people laugh? i figure you'd be doing it yourself if you didn't like the anonymity(did i spell that right?) of the humor blog.
ReplyDeletefood for thought...
i want mine signed " To Moehawk, My Other Loyal Reader".....:)
ReplyDeleteSee! I told you you were funny! Conan started that way... Send some of this stuff in to Conan or Jay or Dave. Dave! Letterman or Barry...doesn't matter...
ReplyDeleteYou are right, sis. Why should I continue to hide this stuff here on the Internet where only 6 billion people can see it? I'm sure glad you're there to keep me focused.
ReplyDeleteROTFLMAO!!!
ReplyDeleteOK...no more comments
ReplyDeleteglad i wasn't at your family's holiday gathering! rrrroooOOWWW! PFFFT!
ReplyDeletebut seriously, if you could get paid for your talent, why not?