Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Return of More Headline News

From AJC:
Mayor fines Druid Hills club over gay policy
Mayor: "I mean, that policy is just SO gay, we had to do something."

From CNN:
Late Tupac Shakur back at No. 1
Critics agree: If he have died earlier, he'd be bigger than the Beatles

From CNN:
Lopez sued by ex for breach of contract
Couple had agreed to not try to make Ben Affleck appear to be straight

From CNN:
Study: Obesity threatens health care system
Fat Albert receives medical degree

From CNN:
Cancer study yields clues on gray hair
More prominent in older patients

From CNN:
Scientists study orbit of newly found asteroid
NASA: "It will take a while because it goes in circles and makes us dizzy"

From CNN:
High school experiments on way to space station
Latest excuse of why science project is late

From CNN:
Boeing rocket falls short of intended orbit
Told to not be ashamed: All rockets experience that at one time or another

From CNN:
Quake's power = million atomic bombs
Bush demands U. N. sanctions

From CNN money:
Hacker hits McDonald's China Web site
McDonald's China still available with Extra-Value Meals

From CNN:
No new trial despite mistaken confession
Meant to order pizza, confessed to murder instead

From CNN:
Republicans divided on immigration issues
Conservatives want immigrants shot on sight, Moderates only want dogs turned loose on them

From CNN money:
Disastrous holiday dogs airlines
Backers thought canines would travel more at Thanksgiving, Christmas

From CNN money:
Ford recalls more compact SUVs
Former President: "When I was in the White House, SUVs were really small. And useful. And we didn't call them SUVs."

From CNN money:
Sharper Image stock falls on warnings
Warnings receives stitches, released from hospital

From CNN:
Steinbeck's hometown to close libraries
Officials: "We found out nobody really reads his stuff."

From The Pittsburgh Channel:
Bounty Hunter Kills Drug Suspect; Police Investigate
Police find that, sure enough, the guy is dead

From The Pittsburgh Channel:
Murphy Won't Seek Another Term
Goes with first impulse, calls opponent "jerk"

From The New Mexico Channel:
Future Of Los Alamos Uncertain
City must pay fortune teller more for better forecast

From CNN:
Crime motivates inventors to act
Ron Popeil to star in new Oliver Stone film

From CNN:
Airlines' computer systems questioned
Released after passing a polygraph

From CNN:
Man admits Christmas lights Web site scam
Apologises for fooling stupid people

From CNN International:
Forget quits French Fed Cup team
Forgive stays on team

From CNN:
The ultimate New Year's Eve party town
Welcome to Waycross, Georgia

4 comments:

  1. You really are addicted to these headlines, aren't you? Be sure to hit Sgt. Styker's caption contest.

    With your wit, you've got a good shot at taking it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, Frank J. got me hooked. I hope others get an occasional grin.

    I'll check out Sgt. Styker. And thanks for the comments.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i get much more than an occasional grin! i'm not that good at writing them, but i love to read 'em. best thing is, you don't need drugs to enjoy, unlike that cartoon show...

    ReplyDelete
  4. ok, i put in an entry for the caption contest...it's up to you to show your funny and win it!

    ReplyDelete

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