Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Return of More Headline News

From AJC:
Mayor fines Druid Hills club over gay policy
Mayor: "I mean, that policy is just SO gay, we had to do something."

From CNN:
Late Tupac Shakur back at No. 1
Critics agree: If he have died earlier, he'd be bigger than the Beatles

From CNN:
Lopez sued by ex for breach of contract
Couple had agreed to not try to make Ben Affleck appear to be straight

From CNN:
Study: Obesity threatens health care system
Fat Albert receives medical degree

From CNN:
Cancer study yields clues on gray hair
More prominent in older patients

From CNN:
Scientists study orbit of newly found asteroid
NASA: "It will take a while because it goes in circles and makes us dizzy"

From CNN:
High school experiments on way to space station
Latest excuse of why science project is late

From CNN:
Boeing rocket falls short of intended orbit
Told to not be ashamed: All rockets experience that at one time or another

From CNN:
Quake's power = million atomic bombs
Bush demands U. N. sanctions

From CNN money:
Hacker hits McDonald's China Web site
McDonald's China still available with Extra-Value Meals

From CNN:
No new trial despite mistaken confession
Meant to order pizza, confessed to murder instead

From CNN:
Republicans divided on immigration issues
Conservatives want immigrants shot on sight, Moderates only want dogs turned loose on them

From CNN money:
Disastrous holiday dogs airlines
Backers thought canines would travel more at Thanksgiving, Christmas

From CNN money:
Ford recalls more compact SUVs
Former President: "When I was in the White House, SUVs were really small. And useful. And we didn't call them SUVs."

From CNN money:
Sharper Image stock falls on warnings
Warnings receives stitches, released from hospital

From CNN:
Steinbeck's hometown to close libraries
Officials: "We found out nobody really reads his stuff."

From The Pittsburgh Channel:
Bounty Hunter Kills Drug Suspect; Police Investigate
Police find that, sure enough, the guy is dead

From The Pittsburgh Channel:
Murphy Won't Seek Another Term
Goes with first impulse, calls opponent "jerk"

From The New Mexico Channel:
Future Of Los Alamos Uncertain
City must pay fortune teller more for better forecast

From CNN:
Crime motivates inventors to act
Ron Popeil to star in new Oliver Stone film

From CNN:
Airlines' computer systems questioned
Released after passing a polygraph

From CNN:
Man admits Christmas lights Web site scam
Apologises for fooling stupid people

From CNN International:
Forget quits French Fed Cup team
Forgive stays on team

From CNN:
The ultimate New Year's Eve party town
Welcome to Waycross, Georgia


  1. You really are addicted to these headlines, aren't you? Be sure to hit Sgt. Styker's caption contest.

    With your wit, you've got a good shot at taking it.

  2. Yeah, Frank J. got me hooked. I hope others get an occasional grin.

    I'll check out Sgt. Styker. And thanks for the comments.

  3. i get much more than an occasional grin! i'm not that good at writing them, but i love to read 'em. best thing is, you don't need drugs to enjoy, unlike that cartoon show...

  4. ok, i put in an entry for the caption contest...it's up to you to show your funny and win it!


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