Monday, December 20, 2004

Return of Son of Headline News

It's been a busy day. Maybe I'll tell you about it later. Maybe not. I don't know. Anyway, here's the news:
From AJC:
Group hopes to form city called Milton
Then set all the buildings on fire after they get their Swingline staplers

From CNN:
Spammers ordered to pay $1 billion
Expect to raise the money by forwarding e-mails to five friends, after which they will receive:
* Cash from Microsoft
* Free merchandise from Nike
* Free trip for two to Walt Disney World or $5,000 cash from Disney
* Free clothing from the GAP
* Free computers from IBM
* $25 gift certificates from Abercrombie & Fitch
* $25 gift certificates from Old Navy
* $50 gift certificates from J. Crew
* Free cases of M&Ms from Mars
* $25 gift certificates from Outback Steakhouse
* Free cars from Honda
* $50 gift certificates from Bath & Body Works
* Free CDs from Columbia House
* Free cases of soda from Coca-Cola
* Cash from AOL Time Warner
* Cash from EMI
* Free cell phones from Nokia
* Free cell phones from Ericsson
* $50 gift certificates from Victoria's Secret
* Cash from the Newell Co.
* Cash from RH Power Inc.
* $50 gift certificates from Cracker Barrel
* Free champagne from Veuve-Clicquot
* $50 gift certificates from Applebee's
* Cash from Bill Gates

Police Arrest Clerk, Say Shooting Not Self-Defense
Regardless, thief won't be trying that again

From CNN:
Powell: 'Doors will open'
Secretary of State amazed by automatic doors at K-Mart

From CNN:
French spy satellite launched into orbit
Rogue nations say, "It's not like they're going to do anything with the information they find"

From Fox News:
Massive Sinkhole Forces Evacuations
Sleestaks escape!

Award OK'd in beaver dam suit
Uncertain how beavers will pay

From The Washington Post:
Abnormal Fish Found Closer to Washington
Abe Vigoda's weird brother sighted

From The Washington Post:
Some Put Money Where Their Politics Are
Democrat backers have more money than sense

From The Washington Post:
Reid Vows to Stand Up to GOP
Daschle: "Let me know how that turns out"

From The Washington Post:
Airbus Hopes Big Plane Will Take Off, Beat Boeing
Passengers just hope big plane will take off, land

From The Washington Post:
On Tape, Bin Laden Tries New Approach
Asks "So, what are you wearing?"

From The New York Times:
The Fox Is in Microsoft's Henhouse (and Salivating)
Windows XP recalled due to fox spit

From The New York Times:
South Korea Lifts Imports of Rice
Just what Korea needs: more rice

From The New York Times:
Powell Quick to Praise Arab Forum
Has nice things to say about DailyKos

From The New York Times:
Taiwan Chief Drops a Post
Lands on foot, causes bruise

From The New York Times:
Militants' Bomb Misfires, Hitting School Bus; Pupil Dies
US, Israel blamed

From: The Ledger
Report: Texas Schools May Have Cheated
Looked on Oklahoma Schools' paper

From AJC:
Iran Shows Persian Gulf Historical Maps
Persian Gulf impressed

From AJC:
Cuba Wraps Up Military Defense Exercises
Place under tree for Christmas

From AJC:
At 75, Fox shines on in gilded glory
Samantha looks REALLY good for her age

From AJC:
Woman won't be prosecuted for shooting father
Grand Jury: "The guy was an ass and needed shooting"

From AJC:
Fiery object seen in Jakarta skies
Identified as "the sun"

From CNNmoney:
EU to rule on freezing Microsoft curbs
France expected to get job of spraying water on Redmond streets

From CNN:
Team to search for elusive Earhart plane
Team leader: "It's been 67 years. We figure she's lost or something."

From CNN:
The debate over travel warnings
One side favors, the other opposes

From The Washington Post:
First Winter Snow Falls on Washington Area
Same thing happened last year. And the year before. And...

From The Washington Post:
D.C. Landmark Disappears in a Cloud of Dust
"DC" Curry expected to do the same

From The New York Times:
Whoops! It's 1985 All Over Again
Reporter forgets to change calendar. Again.

From The New York Times:
Fannie's Fans Must Be in Denial
Boobie's fans more willing to admit obsession

From The New York Times:
Northwestern Bears Hit Hard by Humans
Bears get pissed, beat crap out of humans

Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.


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