But the Wife bought some Avon Skin So Soft Hair Removal Wax Strips. And Sunday night, she decided to use them. It was a combination of fascination, horror, and humor. Like watching The Shield, you know?
She sat down on the couch while I was watching the History Channel. She opened the little blue bag and started with the wax and strips and such.
In a minute or two of her doing some routine while looking at the instructions, I was paying more attention to the TV when I heard this loud RRRRIIIPPPPPPPP!
It sounded like a sheet of cloth ripping. Or, if you've been near artillery, a shell flying overhead.
Why the artillery comparison? Well, again, if you've heard a shell fly over your head, you know it's followed shortly by a loud noise.
Same thing with the ripping of the wax strip from her leg. Loud rip followed by a loud noise. That noise being her screaming. From pain.
Then, she did it again. Applying the wax strips, ripping, yelling. Maybe some cursing, I'm not sure. But it sure didn't sound pleasant.
After she finished, I decided to look at one of the bags of strips. The directions included:
After all areas of hair removal are complete, rinse area with cool water and pat genrly dry. Rub with Soothing Oil to calm and moisturize the skin, and remove any excess wax.
Note the part about calming the skin. Wonder why the skin needs to be calmed? Because it's upset from having hair and such ripped out of it by wax, that's why!
The instructions also list a bunch of places you shouldn't use the strips. And some really cool places, too. Including places you sure don't want to see hair, that's for sure. What places might those be? Well, I can't say. But it does say "For external use only."
I'm not sure how anyone would remove hair from some of those places. I'm not sure I want to know, either.
The sacrifices we make for beauty. NEVER - I repeat -NEVER let her do a Brazilian wax at home (she will know what that is)!
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[...] Basil has seen abuse. In all it’s pain and glory. ABUSE??? Yes. The variety that we women impose upon ourselves JUST so we’re smooth and silky. LOL. But the Wife bought some Avon Skin So Soft Hair Removal Wax Strips. And Sunday night, she decided to use them. It was a combination of fascination, horror, and humor. Like watching The Shield, you know? [...]
ReplyDeleteMy gentle bride did one of those wax thingies to my unibrow with the intent of giving me two wonderful but separate eyebrows.
ReplyDeleteThat was to months ago. I'm still cross-eyed.
Any woman that willingly subjects themselves to a brazilian wax is so much braver than I could be if I were a woman.
ReplyDeleteThose that go for the total bare package by using wax are masochistic and should be avoided unless you fancy the "tie me up and beat me" games.