Friday, February 11, 2005

Headline News 2005-02-11

From ABC News:
Miller's Sister Says He'll Retire This Year
Miller's Sister Is A 'He'

From ABC News:
Clinton Sees Better Future for Democrats
Then again, he thought Hillary and Monica looked good

From ABC News:
Man Sues, Says Testicle Wrongly Removed
Claims the doctor is nuts. And that the hospital dropped the ball.

From ABC News:
Kan. Woman Resumes Talking After 20 Years
Husband: "It was nice while it lasted"

From ABC News:
German 'Homosexual' Penguins Spark Gay Protest
Researchers: "They're here, they're queer, we're dealing with it"

From ABC News:
Swedish Court Clears Anti-Gay Priest
Acquited Of German Penquin Abuse

From ABC News:
Minn. Governor Seeks Candy Cigarette Ban
Cites effects of second-hand sugar

From ABC News:
Genetic 'Sweet Tooth' Wears Off with Age - Study
Along with the other teeth

From ABC News:
Playwright Arthur Miller Dies
Most Americans thought he had died years ago

From ABC News:
Corey Feldman Speaks Out Against Jackson
Jackson hurt by allegations, thought it was that other Corey

From CNN:
Sinead O'Connor returning
Wants to be in public eye in case Pope dies

From WGAL:
Presidential Library For Buchanan May Be Created
Former Crossfire host to skip formality of actually being president

From WCVB:
Trial Starts For Dad Accused Of Trapping Family
Defendant says "Them's good eatin'"

Car Careens Into Chiropractor's Office
Woman treated for whiplash, will crash car into office again in two weeks

From BBc:
Dead chickens hit Australia homes
Terrorists have advanced from G.I. Joe to frozen chickens

From BBC:
Football star cleared of rape bid
Was not closest without going over

From BBC:
Blue tit boom 'may cause crisis'
Cancellation of "Star Trek" puts Andorian strippers out of business

From New York Times:
Death Penalty Seems Unlikely to Be Revived
Criminals to whom death penalty applied even less likely to be revived


  1. The Mean Sister (who is 5'6")February 11, 2005 at 5:25 PM

    Love those headlines. Some of the best yet..thought Hillary and Moncia looked good--har har har!!...thought doctor was nuts, hospital dropped the ball--heh heh heh!! Now I AM ashamed of mine!!

  2. Mean Sister (who is 5'6");
    basil is the king of witty headline remarks. as Johnny was to late night television. (sorry, basil, but you are the master in this particular genre of internet humor)
    so don't be ashamed of not being as funny or funnier than him, just accept your role as the Letterman or the Leno that can be funny as heck, but never attain the status of the Master of Headline Funny. we still enjoy your input.

  3. it's ANDORIANS!!! gee, if you're gonna make a star trek joke at least get it right. (looks around room) um, yeah, uh... sorry.

  4. Oh My Goodness! I cannot believe I did that!

    Correction has been made. Thanks for catching it. Please don't report me to Starfleet. They'll ban me to Ceti Alpha V.

  5. no problem, at least you acknoledged that you made a correction. some don't, and act all "what are you talking about?" RTO said yeah, section32 might come for you.

  6. The Big Sister (who's 5'4")February 12, 2005 at 4:31 PM

    Better than Ceti Alpha VI...


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