You might want to skip this one.
You see, I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. This whole week has been a waste.
Last week, of course, ended with a very enjoyable visit with Two Dogs and Bean from Mean Ol' Meany at a Biscuits game in Montgomery.
That was last week. This week has been a different story altogether.
Sunday morning, I was tired. I figured it was because Saturday had been a long day. Turned out there was more to it than that.
The grandchildren were staying with us the whole weekend. Their parents had gone to Daytona for the weekend. It turned out that one of them was sick. And one of the grandchildren had turned ill Saturday night. Which is probably where I caught it. There appears to have been some drinking from the same bottle of Gatorade.
Sunday afternoon, despite feeling slightly tired that morning, I decided to head to the Catfish game. I mean, they were playing, right? So, I headed out.
I got as far as Wendy's. As I passed, I realized I was hungry, and that a Wendy's burger sounded pretty good. So, I hit the drive-through.
Pulled out and made a right (towards home) instead of a left (towards the game). I wasn't really paying attention, since my attention was taken by the Braves game on the radio.
Got home, finished the burger, realized what I had done, decided I didn't feel like going to the game, and lay down.
After a bit, I realized a trip to the bathroom was in order.
Remember when I said you might want to skip this one? If you ignored that, here's your last chance.
The visit to the bathroom wasn't bad. Number one. Not number two. But, after flushing and washing my hands, I paused, turned back, lifted the lid (always close the lid), and waited a second or two.
That was all the wait that I needed.
The burger came up.
And so did the store brand cereal I had for breakfast.
I didn't see the little oat cereal pieces, but I sure could taste them.
This went on for a bit, then I flushed, washed, went to the kitchen, got some water, and lay back down.
Didn't stay in bed long.
Back to the bathroom for another round. Only this time, it was both ends.
Later, another bout that was the worst so far.
You ever seen the Jeff Foxworthy routine about the proper order of things? You know, "Sit. Squirt. Flush. Kneel. Spew. Flush. And the order is critical." That routine?
Well, whether you have or haven't, I thought it was funny.
Didn't seem so funny right then, though.
But, at least I kept the order correct.
However, after the last "kneel, spew, flush" bit, I felt pretty weak. So, rather than get up, I just decided to stay there for a bit.
But that seemed too hard.
So, I decided to lay over.
Now, I'm laying on the bathroom floor, with my boxers around my feet ... no, there wasn't enough time between the "squirt, flush, kneel" to change that ... laying on whatever I could reach to keep the cold bathroom floor off the skin.
That was mostly dirty underwear. And a pair of pants that smelled like the Wife had used to tend to the goats. And, yes, that's why they smelled that way: she had worn them to tend the goats.
So, I'm lying on the floor, boxers still around my feet, laying on my side, on dirty underwear and goat pants, feeling miserable.
I heard a noise in the other room. Called out for the Wife.
She came in a few minutes later, saw me on the floor, boxers around my feet, laying on dirty underwear, and asked me, "Are you okay?"
So I asked for a towel.
She went away. Came back a bit later with a towel, handed it to me. I put it under my head, and lay my head back down.
After a bit, I felt up to getting up, went back to lay down (in the bed), and waited the next bout.
The bouts continued for a bit. None left me so weak as to not make it back to the bed.
But then the bed wasn't comfortable.
I was out of it somewhat. Seems that I couldn't get in a position to get comfortable.
I remember being concerned about being in a position where the lower back didn't hurt. And I was concerned ... almost obsessed ... with positioning myself so the lower back didn't hurt.
This continued for several hours.
It was after 2:00 AM before I realized that it was my back that was hurting.
Before that, I knew my laying like I was had caused back pain. But I never connected the pain to me.
Not sure who I thought was uncomfortable, but it was not until then that I realized it was me.
Yeah, I was out of it.
Monday morning, I didn't feel like going to work. Heck, I didn't feel like much of anything.
I drank some water ... sipped it, actually ... that morning. But couldn't keep it down.
After a few more bouts ... I was down to nothing but awful-tasting yellow stuff by now ... and I decided a trip to the hospital might be in order.
I had suffered severe dehydration before. In Korea, and in Kuwait.
Neither was pleasant.
And neither was this week.
But now I'm better. Was able to eat real food. And am cleared to go back to work today.
Got a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning, but that should be a breeze.
Now that I'm better, I have some emails to respond to. Yeah, I managed to respond to some, but more are in order.
A huge thanks to all that sent the kind words and messages. And a promise that you won't get any more reports of what it's like to be ill.
Unless I get sick again.