Saturday, October 22, 2005

The Mean Musings

Boy, it sure has been a while since I have been on the blog. basil sent out an email asking for posts--seems like he'll never learn. Be careful what you ask for...you might just get it. I really don't have a lot to say, but I really didn't want to let basil down.

The title of Mean Musings just goes to show that when you finally have some time on your hands, some idiot (mainly me) will ramble on and on about nothing. Speaking of nothing, has anyone complained about the price of gas lately? Gas has dropped to $2.53 down here in my neck of the woods. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. I bought a gallon of milk the other day, and it cost me $122.52! I almost had a stroke!

Let me tell you the rest of the story first before you start thinking I have lost my mind. You see, here in my little town, there really isn't much to do. My 13-year-old daughter was invited to a birthday party Friday night. Now, as the principal of her middle school, I just knew that all the kids would love to have me at the party chaperoning. NOT!! In fact, that is a quote.

With three hours on my hand, I thought I would take advantage of the quiet time and do some homework (since I am working on another degree). That soon got old and way too quiet. I then decided that I needed some milk. I don't know why that became the important thing in my life at that moment, but it did. Anyway, with nothing else to do, I go to Wal-Mart to get the milk.

As I began moving toward the back of the store to get the milk, a bin of 2 for $11.00 DVD's caught my eye. Surely in that bin there must be some long lost DVD that would change my life if I had it in my possession. After twenty or so minutes, I found two DVD's--Patch Adams and something else (I guess it really did not change my life after all--sigh)! Putting those in my cart, I am determined that milk is all I need. Get it and get out.

It was not to be. As I then walked past the film and cameras, the five pack of film for the price of four called my name. It was not a soft whisper in my ear; it was a shout that sounded like, "I need a CSM at register 3 please, a CSM at register 3." The film literally leaped into my basket. At this point, I am beginning to have a glazed look in my eyes. Just over there are some new shoes. I have to pass them to get to the back and get my milk...THEY HAVE WIDES! This pair looked great with my khakis and I can wear them to work. CHA CHING, CHA CHING. My head is starting to spin--all I want is milk. Where is it?

With a new resolve, I push my cart toward the grocery side. What is this I see? Clearance? School supplies and summer items? You can never have too many book covers--and the 13-year-old attends this really cool school (with this really cool principal that was not invited to stay at the party, remember) that has all these rules that require books to be covered. And these are stretchy, cloth book covers in really cool colors. Three or four of these would be perfect...wait...look at that pitcher...it is in the soccer colors...it would be perfect for our soccer goodies...and a platter to match...and bowls...WOW!! What luck!

WAIT A MINUTE!! Why do I need all this? Because it is on sale! I am saving tons of money getting this stuff in the off season. Focus, focus, focus...I am here for milk, just milk...which reminds me of a cat...cat food. That stupid cat at the house has to have more food. I bet she thinks I'll get her the same old expensive stuff. Nope, not me. It is the cheap stuff for that old flea bag. Fifty pounds of cat food! Boy, at this price I should get three bags and never have to buy more!

MILK! MILK! MILK! I swerve my buggy around with a strengthened resolve. I am getting milk. Oops, I am out of Diet Coke at school. I think three cases should be ok. I sure am glad I remembered that. I would be in a world of hurt come Monday if I didn't have my morning caffeine--I only like it cold. Why is my buggy so hard to push? Why is it so heavy? Where did all this stuff come from?

As I round the dairy case at our local Super Wal-Mart, I see it. Great Value skim milk. Finally, my mission is accomplished. I can have breakfast in the morning. Breakfast! I am out of cereal and Pop-Tarts. How in the world did that happen? I remember seeing the Cocoa Pebbles box in the trash earlier this week. Only three aisles down and I find the breakfast cereal. Now, which one did I need? Last time, Honeycomb ended up in the buggy...would she want that again? The 13-year-old really likes several kinds of cereal. Well, if I get the Honeycomb, the Lucky Charms, and the Cocoa Pebbles, then she'll just have to make do. Now for Pop-Tarts. Strawberry or Smores; Look at the time...BOTH.

As I lug the buggy to the front of the store, three bags of chips, a bag of Double Stuff Oreos, and a Good Humor Variety Pack of ice cream migrate to the middle of the buggy. I am sure that Sam Walton is smiling as I move to the self-checkout. Another one bites the dust.

Why, oh why, can't I just get a gallon of milk?

6 comments:

  1. At last! Confirmation that I'm not the only one who gets sidetracked at Wal-Mart!

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  2. I have found that Wal-Mart always turns out to be an expensive proposition. Go figure!

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  3. Heh. I feel your pain, which is why I lept for joy when the SuperTarget established itself just down the street.

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  4. It could have been worse...you could have been at Sam's Club. That place could suck $200 out of my pocket faster than any other place on Earth!

    However...next time I think I might have a solution. IF there's a man in the house, send him for the milk. He (if he's anything like me) can actually navigate through Walmart and purchase JUST what he went there for. Think it has something to do with our genes, DNA, or whatever controls the urges that cost you over $100 for milk. (This approach does NOT work at Best Buy for the male of the species...you've been warned.)

    See you on the high ground.

    MajorDad1984

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  5. The Mean Sister (who is 5'6")October 25, 2005 at 7:07 PM

    Hey GroovyVic...that must have been you I saw circling the Wally World as I was trying to leave. Maybe they should put in a buggy-traffic control tower.

    To P. Campbell...I think expensive proposition. As far as the go figure, I have to do that everytime I enter my checks into the computer and balance my checkbook. It is a shame that WM gets about 26% of my expenditures each month.

    Well Sadie, I don't think I could afford a Super Target in town. Maybe if I took another job to work between 2:00 and 4:00 am...

    Now, now, MajorDad1984,If I didn't know better, I would be insulted by your comment. Your Best Buy is my Wal-Mart. Speaking of Sam's Club, it is nothing more than Wal-Mart on steroids.

    Thanks for all the comments.

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  6. i love your storie now i can bringe a paybak for my sister

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