Headline News: 4/17/2005

From CNN:
Harvard reprimands professor
Should have called 9/11 victims "little Eichmanns"

From CNN:
Student ordered to stop posting old tests
Teachers too busy not teaching to create new tests

From CNN:
Mariah Carey: 'I feel like that's over'
Singer, rest of the world agree about her career

From CNN:
Bush has slime-mold beetle named after him
Sorry, I have nothing to add. It's all been said.

From ABC News:
Man Upset With Penile Surgery Mails Bomb
Doctors not surprised, say man was a real dick, plus he was nuts

From ABC News:
Grandma Stops Intruder With Garden Gnome
After saving Grandma, gnome tells would-be burglar "Don't forget your hat!"

From ABC News:
Man Accused of Being I-65 Flasher Caught
Beth cancels daily trips to Evergreen

From ABC News:
Man Facing Execution Finds Romance
Now has dates with both crazy woman and the needle

From ABC News:
Are Wedding Bells Ringing for Mary Kay Letourneau?
Networks cover her every move, then ask "What's America's fascination?"

From ABC News:
Income Tax Scams From Behind Bars
Convict: "I mean, what are they gonna do to me? Lock me up?"