Tuesday, April 19, 2005

If I Could Be…

Gee, thanks, Jody. You're going to make me have to think! I don't normally use my brain when I blog, so this will definitely be a change.

First, here's the rules of the "If I Could Be A ..." meme that I've been slapped upside the head tagged with:

Immediately following there is a list of 18 19
20 different occupations. You must select at least 5 of them (feel free
to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you
pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you).
Each one begins with "If I could be..." Of the 5 you selected, you are
to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that

For example, if the selected occupation was "linguist,"
you might take the phrase "If I could be a linguist...I would learn Hebrew, Greek, Russian, Italian and Chinese." See how
easy that is? Here's the list:

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be an astronaut...

So, here are my answers:

  • If I could be an athlete... I'd play baseball. And I'd be good. And I'd hit a home run in the bottom of the ninth at Turner Field to complete a four-game sweep of the Yankees to win the World Series. Then I'd go to Disney World.

  • If I could be a musician... I'd play the piano. Or the guitar. Or both. So I could play my favorite Beatle songs. And I'd be able to sing. Just like Paul. Or John. Or George. But not Ringo; I can do that now.

  • If I could be a professor... I'd build a radio out of coconuts, then actually patch the hole in the boat to get us off that uncharted desert isle. After I spent some time alone with Mary Ann, that is.

  • If I could be a missionary... I'd learn a new position.

  • If I could be a linguist... I'd be a cunning linguist.

So there you go. Now, aren't you glad you asked?

Ah, I must pass this along to someone. To three, in fact. Who shall I bless with this?

  • moehawk, of course.

  • Ferdinand, because he should give us an interesting perspective on things.

  • Harvey, because he's way too busy for this silliness. Plus, I owe him a lot and THIS is how I repay him?

This ought to be interesting.

UPDATE I: Help an Ogre out. Let Ogre know when you've posted. Since apparently Ogre's got nothing better to do than track this little meme from the bowels of hell.

UPDATE II: Since I missed that moehawk had already been tagged, I had to go to my bench. And look who I found: Two Dogs from Mean Ol' Meany. Tag, you're it!

UPDATE III: Seems I missed that Two Dogs had already been tagged. But that's okay. I've got lots and lots of folks on my list. But I'm going with Jeff at Think Sink. Bet he didn't see that coming. How's your relevance now?


  1. tag...i'm it

    Haha! My cunning ploy worked and I have been linked on basil's website. Go read his thoughtful awe inspiring answers ...well they're answers....

  2. I would be orgle-man

    If I could be a llama-rider...
    I would be orgle-dude
    I'd ride my llama into the slums
    and begin to watch for bums
    and if I saw them trying to get high
    smoking crack and their sticks of thai
    I'd trample them to death until they were goo...

  3. Moehawk's already been tagged by William Teach.

  4. Oh, my goodness. How did I miss that? Let's see. Time to update, then.

  5. Crap. I *knew* I'd get tagged with this thing :-)

    I'll see how fast I can make this happen...

  6. I tagged Two Dogs already this a.m. so there!

  7. Darn it! Now I'm going start having to read these blogs!

    Update upcoming.

  8. Thank you so much for tagging Jeff...I thought I was going to have to bribe someone to let him play. I see that you saw his comments on my blog then, now he's threatening a Shame Jody Blogburst (no ideas people!) for my snub. You could be the benevolent peacemaker to solve our problem. ;)

  9. now, is that a common cunnilinguist? Crap, what song is that from?

  10. Ok, that was just plain wrong. Fingers ahead of brain. Went to far. I'm really tired. My apologies.

  11. Uh, now I'm supposed to feel relevant, right? OK...

    I'll get to the meme as soon as I can, but remember, I'm pretty tied up right now with the whole "Mrs. Think Sink" voting scandal investigation...

    Oh, and you've been blogrolled.

  12. Jody:
    Glad if I was able to help. Of course, Evil Glenn is stirring the pot.

    William Teach:
    It's not wrong ... not if you do it right.

    Jeff H:
    Hey, if being tagged by me made you relevant, you were in sad shape. :)

    Also, we'll be following that voting scandal.

    And thanks for the blogroll.

  13. Just now re-reading the comments--I find confirmation of my suspicions.

    'Fess up, you two: Jody, how much did you pay Basil to tag me? And all to get out of yet another brewing blogscandal. First you're stuffing the ballot box over at the "Mrs. Think Sink Poll"; now you're bribing fellow bloggers to hide your own shame.

    Murder will out, dear--murder will out.


    Basil tagged me with this meme: Immediately following there is a list of 20 different occupations. You must select at least 5 of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before...

  15. Hey, it's not a conspiracy if there are no pictures or tapes.

  16. "...not a conspiracy if there are no pictures or tapes".

    2 words: Teapot Dome.

  17. just to fix my previous gaff, it is "common cunning linguist" from the song Knocking On Your Back Door by Deep Purple.

  18. Jeff H:
    Let me add "or Republicans" since I'm not a registered Republican. Now I'm safe from scandal.

    William Teach:
    If anyone knew it, it would, of course, be you.

  19. Much Obliged...

    So, I'll fulfill those obligations with this post.

  20. Okay, finally I answered......

  21. That was a Deep Purple song, form the only in the late eighties. Knocking at Your Back Door.

  22. If I Could Be Tagged By a Meme

    Apparently, there's this thing bloggers do where they send each other EMAIL messages that require them to post articles on specific topics. This particular one comes from Basil's Blog. I'm supposed to choose five professions from a list of twenty,...


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