Wednesday, April 20, 2005

WTW: Picking A Pope

White Trash WednesdaysSo they've gone and picked 'em a Pope. Well, good for them.

Since I'm not Roman Catholic, it's not that big a deal to me. But for those who is, it is. So it's a good thing.

But you know, when they pick the Pope of Rome, they do it different than us Baptists do. What I saw them doing on the news channels was pretty much the same thing they did back in 1978.

I remember when Pope Paul (number 6, I think) joined the choir invisible. A week or two later, they got a bunch of folks together in Rome or somewhere and they holed up inside a building called the Sistine Chapel. Which surprised me, them naming a building after the blonde nurse on Star Trek.

Anyway, they got together and voted and picked 'em a Pope. I think they knew all along who they was going to pick. I mean, the guy's name was Albino Luciani. What do you think? You know what I'm saying. I think Luciani had the votes the whole time. I remember him smiling a lot. He seemed like he would appreciate a good joke. I mean, he named himself after two of the Beatles.

Anyway, during the voting, there was the question about white smoke/black smoke. Since he had a sense of humor, he probably had them messing with the smoke, then he'd run over to the window and laugh. Too bad he wasn't around long. He had him a heart attack and was gone in a month.

So, they got back together. I mean, the chairs were still warm. Anyway, they picked the fellow that called himself John Paul II. Not real original there. But he was a nice guy, it seemed. And probably smarter than they gave him credit. I could just imagine it.

The last 400 years worth of Popes had been from Italy. And they just had two Pope funerals in five weeks. So, I'm thinking they might have thought it wasn't a real safe job. So, they got this guy from Poland to take it. I guess he showed them.

Anyway, they just went through the whole thing again, and the Italians are still a little skittish. They elected them a German Pope. And this guy was even less original than the last Pope. He took the name Benedict. He's number 16.

I wonder why they don't keep their same name. I mean, wasn't Joseph a saint? Couldn't he have used his own name? Or am I thinking of somebody else? Or aspirin?

Also, if he wanted to pick a name that had been used before, why not a name that hadn't been used but once? Like Linus. Or my favorite, Cletus. Or Hilarius. That's a funny name. But, I guess Benedict is alright.

See, Baptists do things different. We ain't got no head of the Baptist Church. Except at the local Baptist church. Preachers there pretty much do what they want. Until the Chairman of the Deacons gets beat by the preacher in golf, or finds out the preacher's been visiting Mrs. Chairman of the Deacons if you know what I mean, or if his tie is the wrong color (crimson instead of red during football season, in Georgia; red instead of crimson during football season in Alabama; and so on). Then, they don't usually wait for him to die. They run him off.

The preacher will make an announcement during the Sunday service that "the Lord has led him to another calling" which means he's going to live on what's in savings until another church who ran their preacher off calls him.

And there's no smoke involved. Except what the Chairman of the Deacons is blowing up people's butts.

More White Trash Wednesday

Agent Bedhead
Alabama Improper
And Rightly So!
Dangerous Logic
Feisty Republican Whore
It Is What It Is
Lost In Lima Ohio
Mean Ol' Meany
Merri Musings
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Pennsylvanian in exile
Pirate's Cove
Public Figures
Riehl World View
Right Truth
Six Meat Buffet
Stupid Random Thoughts
The Jawa Report
The Nose On Your Face
The Therapist
Vince Aut Morire


  1. Ah, yea. Greasing up the ole' rail straight to Hell this morning.

    Just to let you know, 7500 fans showed up for the Mississippi Braves first home game. No one has been arrested, yet. And every game is sold out for the next two months. Looking good.

    Go Fish!

  2. 7,500 Mississippians together in one place and not one arrest?

    They don't make Mississippians like they used to.

  3. I think that everyone has been too busy being happy drunks. That scenario has replayed the past two nights and still no arrests. So the number is more like 24,000.

  4. I always thunk that the difference between "white smoke" and "black smoke",was a Marlboro Reds/Kool Menthols kinda thing.

    And I ain't seen 7,500 Mississippi folks in one place at the same time,since I spent a weekend in the Tupelo jailhouse.

  5. Was that you? I thought you looked familiar.

  6. That were me,Cousin Red.It's good to see ya again! Time has been kind to ya.Yore mouth is just as purty as I remember it when we got inked. ;)

    Or maybe it was that new Deputy Sheriff who bent me over the hood of my El Camino before cuffing me.Hmm..I don't recall,exactly.Good to see ya,anyhoo,Red!

  7. Oh, boy. You can pick your friends. You can even pick your nose. But you can't pick your relatives.


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