Some of this stuff you can't make up. Like this story I found from the Associated Press and ABC:
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. Oct 11, 2005 -- A 31-year-old man is facing burglary charges after being caught inside the Bridge Academy charter school in his underwear. Police said they were responding to an alarm at the school at about 8:15 a.m. Sunday when they found William Hoskins apparently downloading pornography on an office computer.
A duffel bag, clothing and a wallet containing Hoskins' ID, were found on the floor nearby, along with a bucket of urine, police said.
Police said Hoskins told them he went into the school to use the bathroom.
He was held in lieu of $500 bond for an appearance in Superior Court Tuesday.
Perhaps Cousin Red will return next week. I'm not sure how much of this real stuff I can stand.