Tuesday, June 6, 2006
Bowling For Michael Moore
You're watching viewer-supported Public Television.
Live! From points across the globe, it's the Michael Moore fundraiser!
Good evening, I'm your host, Fidel Castro in Havana. Thank you so much for joining us tonight. We have a star-studded line-up ready to entertain you and take your pledges.
Without further delay, we head to Amman, Jordan, where the Dixie Chicks are on the Middle Eastern leg of their Trim Bush tour. Take it away, girls!
Hi there! We're the Dixie Chicks! And we support Michael Moore.
You know girls, I think it's a darn shame that horrible people like Sergeant Damon can sue great Americans like Michael Moore. C'mon, really. This isn't right.
And what kind of name is "Sergeant" anyway? What was his parents thinking?
Well, enough of mean old Mr. Damon. We want you to pick up your telephone and call in and pledge money to Michael Moore. Because of all the great things Michael Moore does.
Yeah, like making movies that let people know just how horrible that George Bush person is. I mean, he went and started a war.
That's right. And we want you to know that we think it's wrong! wrong! wrong! to react with violence, no matter what the other person is supposed to have done.
Now we're going to sing our hit song, "Goodbye Earl."
"She held Wanda's hand as they
worked out a plan
And it didn't take long to decided
That Earl had to die
Yay!! Dixie Chicks rule!
Thank you. Thank you very much.
That's wonderful girls. The phones will start ringing any moment now.
Next, we take you to Los Angeles, for another great American: Barbra Streisand! Take it away Barbra.
Thank you, Phil. I want to urge everyone to call and make a donation now to help out poor Mickey Moore. He's such a dear, dear friend ... and he needs your help. So call in ... and give.
Now, I promised I'd sing, so, Mickey, this is for you.
"What Kind Of Fool Am I ..."
Barbra, thank you. And you at home, thank you for calling in. How much have we raised so far?
Okay, we need more money. A lot more. So let's go to our next act, a duet from from North Korea and Iran, featuring ...