Today, we should have lots of fun. It's everyone's favorite Yak: Random Yak...
The interview panel is ready with their questions...
Why are there no Aesop fables concerning yaks?
I blame the Bush administration.
Boxers or briefs? (Had to ask _some_ "lawyer" questions.)
I think that's outside the scope of discovery...
What's with the "Random Spouse?" Is she not also a Yak? You got some bispeciesal thing going on?
I wish to invoke my fifth amendment rights to silence, on the grounds that I don't like sleeping on the couch.
Are all yaks Asian? Do they speak Chinese? Are any yaks possibly Danish? How do you say "yak" in Nepalese?
Two-legged Yaks come in every race and inhabit every nation. I'm tracking them down and exposing them one by one. I'm guessing that roughly one-sixth of them speak Chinese.
Frankly, I resemble that allusion to a breakfast pastry.
And sorry ... my Nepalese is a little rusty.
Why Random Yak?
Some years ago, while browsing the Internet, I discovered a fantastic photograph of a yak standing on the side of a mountain with Ama Dablam in the background. (I'd like to use it on the blog but I haven't been able to contact the copyright holder). I'd been having sort of a lousy day, but the image made me think, "God loves that random yak wandering on the mountainside ... and God loves you, too. So quit feeling sorry for yourself and be grateful." When the time came to start a blog, that's what came to mind ... that, and the embedded play on words. Yaks like puns, especially ones with multiple meanings.
Three words for "impeccable projectin' edge of a moldin'" (according to the YtY game-slightly bent, but UNlike Beckham misbehavior)? Which part of that is the red herring?
The part that sticks to the ceiling. At least, that's what I learned in law school.
Can the Random Yak see himself in a mirror?
I'd rather not.
Does it annoy you when people refer to vomiting as "yakking?" (As in, "my cat yakked up a hairball.") How about talking excessively as "yakking?" Don't you think that's a slur against yaks?
Funny you should mention cat puke.
It's been a while since I mentioned it on the blog, but cat puke is always funny. At least in hindsight. I'm not sure why, but since the blog often aims to be funny, I'll take it any way I can get it.
I'd love to be able to get my horns in a knot over excessive talking being called "yakking." In fact, I think I'll get around to that as soon as I dislodge this plank from my eye.
If it's a random yak, is it always the same yak?
No. Sometimes it's a Random Yak, sometimes it's a Random Maniyak. Occasionally you might see an I.T. Yak or an Insomniyak (though I suppose we're all insomniyaks to one degree or another). For today it's just the Random Yak. For the others, you'll have to visit the blog.
Who has longer hair, Random Yak, Random Spouse, Yak the Younger, some other yak? any blondes?
Household hair length (longest to shortest): The Random Spouse, The Random Yak, Boo the Persian, Wookie (aka Handsome) the Maine Coon Mix, Yak the Younger, Willy-the-Bengal. No (natural) blondes.
Why a yak?
Because that's how it's spelled. (Y ... a ... k )
Because no one told me it would explode if I dropped it.
How tall is a yak, barefoot? Do yaks go barefoot, or do they wear socks? tube socks? sandals?
I am just tall enough for my feet to reach the floor.
Socks are for studying, Sandals are for wearing, Barefoot is for Yaks.
Lightning round (because I got this thing going on):
c. Hot Dog
Yes, thanks. Pass the onions.
Favorite Jackson (including the females)
Favorite non-commie-hating Blorg-leading blogger (who isn't me)
Who hates non-commies?
You're stranded on a desert isle and you can only download one website, what is it?
I'll take Google for $1000, Maximum Blorg Commander. Unless the island is off mainland China.
What's that website you got there running?
b. Movable Type
c. Mambo Open Source
e. None of the above
e. We're currently running "the soon-to-be-replaced-software-formerly-known-as-pLog-now-called-Lifetype-for-trademark-infringement-reasons-which-says-it-allows-trackbacks-but-really-doesn't-and-drives-me-nuts." Or something like that. We're moving to WordPress (in order to support trackbacks).
Do you use an electronic Bible?
c. Pleading the 5th
Which fifth? Romans 5th? Second Corinthians 5th? Deuteronomy 5th? Bother. I'll go with "A." unboundbible.com for the win.
What's with the foreign language making? (Yes, I realize this breaks with the rich history and tradition of the lightning round, so sue me)
Ruguo gaosu ni, wo jiu yinggai sha ni. (If I tell you, then I'd have to kill you.)
Are you going to sue me?
d. What was the name of that guy from that Boston Legal show?
I don't know the name of the guy on Boston Legal...so I guess I'll have to go with "no."
Do you have a random yak generator?
That's not where baby yaks come from.
Do yaks eat basil? cornish game hens? crow? fire?
Yes, yes, frequently, hot sauce.
What is the worst part of the DCMA and why?
The fact that it doesn't bring back public humiliation as a remedy for stealing someone's blog entry. I've been told throwing rotten tomatoes and cabbages at the perpetrator won't actually make me feel better. All I'm asking is the opportunity to prove it.
I think the enforcement provisions lack teeth, though I also understand enforcement difficulties are a function of reality. The Internet makes it virtually impossible to track down, and impossible to stop, copyright infringement. Still, that doesn't make it any less frustrating.
Which is tougher, the hide of a yak or the hide of a lawyer? Which looks better tanned?
There are skid marks in front of the dog. Wait, sorry, that was the wrong question.
Have you ever been to the Yaak in Montana?
"The Yaak Valley is located at the southern end of the Purcell Mountain Range in northwest Montana." I've never been there, but it's the sort of place I'd probably run away to if I could.
What will you be doing for Headache Awareness Week?
I don't know ... and I've been banging my head against the wall trying to figure it out.
In what intercollegiate sport did Random Yak compete in college?
Fencing (Always had problems getting the posts to stand up straight, but other than that I was pretty good.) Seriously ... fencing, mostly foil with just enough sabre to make everyone smile and back away slowly.
Who was your favorite author when you were eight years old? Would you recommend that author to YtY?
C.S. Lewis. At eight I read the entire Chronicles of Narnia series ... though I pretty much missed the point at the time, a fact which came back to me all too clearly when an eight year-old Yak the Younger wanted to finish each book with a theological discussion.
What type of yak is it?
Not a kayak. The other kind.
Do any of your avocational skills not involve manipulation of dangerous weapons?
Welsh longbows don't kill people. Archers with bad aim kill people.
Seriously, that angel food cake, what was with that?
Respect the grilled cake, for it is good.
what is Random's email addy?..I've been tryin to reach him for 4 months!..lolz
Sending e-mail at random isn't advisable. Sending email to Random is much better. Use Randomyak (at) gmail.com. Or click on my name under the title for any entry at the blog. I've sneakily embedded my email address in a hyperlink.
Are there any yaks in the World of Warcraft?
No. Blizzard Entertainment is clearly in league with Aesop and the Bush administration. For the record, Tauren are not yaks.
What does green sound like?
Mostly like blue, with a little yellow accent.
Do yaks have an eternal soul? faith? Do they worship God? God the creator, or some yakish invention?
There are no athiests in foxholes, but you don't see all that many yaks in foxholes. You find them more often in ditches. But I digress. Sadly, not all Yaks recognize the Creator God of the Bible and His son Jesus Christ, though this one knows and loves Him.
What is the most inspiring cartoon you've ever watched?
Or the Loony Tunes episode where the Coyote shoots himself out of a cannon and survives, only to drop an anvil on his own head while the roadrunner blows raspberries at him. I've had days like that.
What has been your favorite running Random Yak feature? the court martial of Colonel Turkey? the Christmas Resistance? Yak of the Week, Month, Year?
The "best" writing on the site is probably the Songs of David series ... which I occasionally get credit for but don't write myself ... my blogging partner the Random Maniyak writes them. Still, I'd have to call that my overall favorite "feature" because (based on the referrer log and email received) I suspect it may have actually helped people.
If I have to pick one I'm responsible for, I think it would be the Random Observance posts or the U.S-E.R.s of the Day, mainly because they provide such interesting jumping-off points.
If a dog walked like a duck and quacked like a duck, why would it not be a duck?
Because it doesn't float in water. Unless it does float. In which case it's still not a duck ... it's a witch. (Statistically, 78% of you got that and the other 22% don't share my taste in movies) .
Because hating the blogosphere is my specialty, I'll ask: what do you hate about the blogosphere? And in the interest of being "fair and balanced," what do you like about it?
I don't "hate" all that much, but I do hate the name "blogosphere." It's a lame title for the unparalleled, uncontained marketplace of ideas and the global conversation that goes on there. The marketplace and the conversation are the parts I like. Love the reality, hate the name. Kind of like "potatoes au gratin."
By the way, why would thoughtful yak bloggers poke fun at the foibles of people by calling them "yaks"? Shouldn't calling someone a yak be a compliment, for a sentient yak?
Reality check. We are all the two-legged yak, stubborn by nature and inclined to walk in the opposite direction from what's good for us to one degree or another. Some of us just fight the instinct harder than others, and some of us know that God helps the ones who ask for it. That I am a Yak who fights the instinct doesn't mean that left unattended and without His guidance I wouldn't wander into a ditch or two myself. In fact, history proves otherwise.
Please link back.
Professor Farnsworth has offered to let you use his "What If" machine. What would you ask it?
What if there were never a Professor Farnsworth? Would there still be a machine here to answer my question?
Thank you, Mr. Yak, for taking the time to answer our questions. This was fun.
Tomorrow, it's Laurie of Soldiers' Angel New York.