TeaFizz

Today, we are pleased to have our questions directed at TeaFizz...


The panel is ready with their questions...


Now, the first question...


I love the TeaFizz and I only just now figured it out when I read your blog - the ebonics reference - and I just about fell out of my chair laughing so hard. You know, because at first I was thinking, "what the hell is a tea fizz?"

OK I am getting to my questions, I promise -

What are your blog requirements to be listed on your blogroll? heh. ;-)


Well, there's a rather rigorous vetting process, which involves a thorough background check, including a personal interview and a physical challenge (like American Gladiators). And I'm not really supposed to tell you this, but, after that there's... well, let's just say it involves barn-yard animals, a Brannock Device, and duct tape (why these things always have to involve Brannock Devices, I have no idea).

I could send you an application form...

...or - because it's you - I could just skip the formalities and add you. I'll leave it up to you...


And what is this "Noodly Appendage" you keep speaking of on your blog, you know, cause I"m too lazy to go and look it up myself.


The Flying Spaghetti Monster, in his complex-carbohydratic wisdom, created and watches over, well, everything.And it is with his innumerable "Noodly Appendages" that he effects his control over existence itself.

RAmen.


Could you please tell me where I could go to learn how to develop a group blog. It would be a non profit group for about 20 members. If you would just point me in the right direction, it would be gratly appreciated.


I would think that most blogging services - even the free ones - have an option where, once you create a blog, you can give other people log-ins so they can post to it as well. However, having only had any experience with Blogger, I wouldn't know about any of the other services specifically.

I have to admit that I'm a little surprised that you'd think to ask me - what with the general lack of anything even remotely resembling substance on my blog - but I appreciate the vote of confidence, nonetheless.


Teafizz, is that picture at the top of your blog really YOU? (if so, I have the name of a really good dentist...)


While I appreciate the concern for my dental health, I must let you know that I'm rather fond of my teeth, the way they dance so sprightly... it's as if they don't have a care in the world...

Man, I envy them sometimes...


Who's deader: Graham Chapman or Douglas Adams?


Considering the fact that, when Adams died in 2001, Chapman had been dead for nigh on 12 years. Therefore, I'd have to say that, logically speaking, Chapman would have to be the deader of the two.

Unless, of course, you factor in their ages when they died... or the circumstances of their deaths... or their nationalities... or what their favorite breakfast cereal was... or who they hired to do their landscaping... or if they even had any landscaping done to begin with...

You know what... I have no idea. This is all too confusing.


What's the best smell in the world?


Would you believe that this is the question I've had the hardest time answering? It's not really how I wanted to answer this, but I'll just name off some smells I like:

I like the smell of freshly-baked apple pie.

I like the smell of oranges.

Don't tell anybody, but I like all the 'fancy fru-fru stuff' that women use. I mean, I don't want to smell like that, but I kinda like it when they do. But it has to be somewhat subtle, though. I'm not a big fan of when they smell like they bathed in it.

I LOVE... the smell of coffee. And coffee grounds.

And I like the smell of the mountains when I'm snowboarding. Actually, come to think of it, I'm not so sure if that's so much a 'smell' as it is my sinuses freezing... but I like it all the same.


Green Acres or Petticoat Junction?


Truthfully, both of those shows were before my time, if only barely. On top of that, I didn't move to the US until '82. So, the only experience I might have had with either of them was in reruns. Sadly, of the two, I've only ever seen Green Acres, so, although I did like the show a lot, I'd have to choose that one by default, just because I don't know anything about Petticoat Junction.


Arnold Ziffle, Arnold Takahashi, Kevin Arnold, Tom Arnold, or Arnold Palmer?


Battle Of The Arnolds™, eh? Well, what about Arnold Jackson, or Benedict Arnold, or any of the other Arnolds out there? Of course, that's not to say anything about the most famous Arnold of them all, Ahhnold 'the Governator' Schwarzenegger...

For my money, though, none of them hold a candle to Arnold Ziffel.


Who's the greatest military leader in American history?


You know, with me being in the military, you might think that I'd have an informed, well-though-out, intelligent answer to this question. Unfortunately, you'd be wrong.

I could go for an easy answer like George Washington, or Patton, or MacArthur, but that would only be out of desperation and there'd be no real reasoning behind it (that's not to say that they weren't great military leaders, though).

I could also pick Alexander Hamilton, because he started the unit I'm in now, the oldest continuously serving unit in the Army, but, again, that would not be reflective of any real knowledge or study on my part.

So, I guess I'll just have to admit that I don't know enough to have an intelligent opinion on your question. Sorry.


Why do the terrorists hate us?


For the same reason that anyone hates anyone else. Convenience.

We are basically all the same, the world over. The only real difference between us is local circumstances, along with what is taught as we grow up. When frustration of daily life becomes too much to bear, it is most easily directed outward at the most convenient target.

It sucks, but in the terrorists' case, that happens to be us.

I know we're not evil, you know we're not evil, we know we're not evil (perhaps more correct would be to say that we don't believe we're evil, but that's another discussion) but, sadly, people of any given group don't need too much imagination to attribute that, and/or any number of other negative qualities to members of another group.


If you had a time machine, and could travel to any place or period for 24 hours, what kind of sandwich would you pack for the trip?


(Let me guess: "Ha-HA! NO-ONE expects the Sandwich Inquisition!")

Well, since I would actually be traveling, I wouldn't want anything too heavy, as it would make said traveling somewhat less comfortable, yet I would want it to be nutritious and provide me with enough energy to sustain my efforts.

Therefore, my choice would have to be a delicious Club Sandwich.


What are you, nuts?


I'd say that's probably a matter of opinion. But I've got a better question for you... if I am nuts, what kind of nuts am I? Hmm, Mr. Smartypants?


What's the most Redneck / White Trash thing you've ever done?


I don't know if this counts, but for my Jr. Prom a buddy of mine and I - in a failed effort to be 'cool' (that was an exercise in futility if I've ever seen one) - decided to show up in a Jacket, nice shirt, tie, and Jams shorts (remember those?). They didn't let us in. Bastards.

I think I skipped my Sr. Prom altogether.

Other than that, lots of drinking beer sitting on the tailgate of a truck in the middle of nowhere and snipe-hunting. I was supposed to go cow-tipping once, but, sadly, never got around to it.


What's the best thing about military service?


I'm not sure if I would go so far as to say that I'm a loner, but I certainly have those tendencies. Despite that, I guess I'd have to [almost grudgingly] admit that I do like the camaraderie. Hell, I even like that one dumb-ass who seems to always say or do something stupid. He's a good guy, basically.

Joining the Army has also helped me realize some things about myself that I may or may not have realized otherwise. It would seem a rather drastic measure for someone to enlist in the military just to learn something about themselves, so, I guess, in my case, it's a good thing that that's not the only reason I joined.


John Cleese or Michael Palin?


Hmmm... the Minister of Silly Walks, or the Lumberjack...

That's a tough one...

I think I'll have to go with the Minister.

Mainly on account of the fact that I'm just not that fond of pressing wild flowers, you see...

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Thanks, TeaFizz, for the interview ... and for your service to your country. We had a good time.

Tomorrow, another MilBlogger ... ex-Navy ... is lined up. It's Alabama Improper.