Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Class of 05 (and the lack thereof)

White Trash WednesdaysWhut ever came of peoples havin' class? I ain't talkin bout all them college younguns trying to learn them an education in class. I'm a talkin about folks havin some upbringin and manners. Now work with me here...bein the fact that one of my nephews graduated Friday night, I did whut any aunt would do, got all flossied up, and went to the ceremony.

Back in the ole days, goin to graduation was a-kin to goin to church. When you enter tha house of tha Lord, you come dressed, sot down, and waited to hear what God wanted to tell ya. So's any way, I get to the stadium and sot myself with my mom, my dad, my two sisters, my youngin, my nephew, and his friend (celebrations are a big deal with our family), and waited to hear what the speakers were gonna tell me about the class of 2005. My mistakes became quite clear as the night progressed.

Mistake #1--I sot down. It realized right up front that sittin was an optional courtesy here. You'd a thunk that they was servin concessions on the visitor's side with fresh popcorn and hot dogs. They was a steady stream of folks the entire ceremony wanderin around like the Israelites in the desert--no direction, no mission, no purpose--jest a wanderin.

Mistake #2--I got all flossied up. Fer you who ain't familiar with whut I mean, I took a bath, buckled up my foundations, and put on my Sunday-go-to-meetin clothes. I looked a mite good, if I say so myself. Well, what I seen paraded by me was not the Sunday best for many of them girls. Looked like they came straight from work on the corner of Main and First. You know the old saying, "Come on down?" Well most of them womens had a pair of hooters that took come on down literally! Reminds me of an old joke I heared in school...Whut does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman don't? A Naval! Come on people, get a life and get a bra. You ain't 18 no longer!

Mistake #3--I thought I'd sit and enjoy watching all them young'uns graduate. Nobody told me that all I was supposed to do was wait fer Young basil's name and I could leave--and not only leave but block the view with my well-endowed behind so nobody can see a thing. It weren't printed in the program fer them to do that. Guess some folks jest have to be told, "Sit down, stay in your seat, and shut up!" Lawzy mercy--talking about this done got me riled up again!!!

Being that I work in the school system, I gotta say that we do a good job here, and our youngins are better than average. Lake Wobegone don't hold a candle to us! Then, I consider that our younguns come from all the inconsiderates I encountered Friday night. Our younguns ain't better than average--they's dadgum genuises.


  1. Thanks Aunt Gladys. I was born in, was raised in, and have spent my entire life in God's Country (the South), and I will agree that good 'ole common manners are a thing of the past for so many people. Fewer and fewer people smile when you meet them on the street. Fewer and fewer men open the car door for their spouses. Fewer and fewer people allow the other person to go first at a 4-way stop.

    I don't know if it's the influx of them Yankees, or if parents just don't spend the time to teach their children right from wrong. Of course it doesn't help that everytime you spank your child for acting up you run the risk of being arrested for "abusing" your child.

    Anyways, keep on a'preachin', Sister Gladys.

  2. Sahmalama:

    Ain't that the gospel...fer us a bein such a civilized place, they ain't much common sense nor common courtesy left. Keep the faith, long as they is breath in my body, I'll work on doin it right.


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