Whut ever came of peoples havin' class? I ain't talkin bout all them college younguns trying to learn them an education in class. I'm a talkin about folks havin some upbringin and manners. Now work with me here...bein the fact that one of my nephews graduated Friday night, I did whut any aunt would do, got all flossied up, and went to the ceremony.
Back in the ole days, goin to graduation was a-kin to goin to church. When you enter tha house of tha Lord, you come dressed, sot down, and waited to hear what God wanted to tell ya. So's any way, I get to the stadium and sot myself with my mom, my dad, my two sisters, my youngin, my nephew, and his friend (celebrations are a big deal with our family), and waited to hear what the speakers were gonna tell me about the class of 2005. My mistakes became quite clear as the night progressed.
Mistake #1--I sot down. It realized right up front that sittin was an optional courtesy here. You'd a thunk that they was servin concessions on the visitor's side with fresh popcorn and hot dogs. They was a steady stream of folks the entire ceremony wanderin around like the Israelites in the desert--no direction, no mission, no purpose--jest a wanderin.
Mistake #2--I got all flossied up. Fer you who ain't familiar with whut I mean, I took a bath, buckled up my foundations, and put on my Sunday-go-to-meetin clothes. I looked a mite good, if I say so myself. Well, what I seen paraded by me was not the Sunday best for many of them girls. Looked like they came straight from work on the corner of Main and First. You know the old saying, "Come on down?" Well most of them womens had a pair of hooters that took come on down literally! Reminds me of an old joke I heared in school...Whut does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman don't? A Naval! Come on people, get a life and get a bra. You ain't 18 no longer!
Mistake #3--I thought I'd sit and enjoy watching all them young'uns graduate. Nobody told me that all I was supposed to do was wait fer Young basil's name and I could leave--and not only leave but block the view with my well-endowed behind so nobody can see a thing. It weren't printed in the program fer them to do that. Guess some folks jest have to be told, "Sit down, stay in your seat, and shut up!" Lawzy mercy--talking about this done got me riled up again!!!
Being that I work in the school system, I gotta say that we do a good job here, and our youngins are better than average. Lake Wobegone don't hold a candle to us! Then, I consider that our younguns come from all the inconsiderates I encountered Friday night. Our younguns ain't better than average--they's dadgum genuises.