Headline News: 4/7/2005

From ABC News:
CBS Wins Peabody for Abu Ghraib Report
Memo story in line for Pulitzer prize for fiction

From ABC News:
Pope Funeral Poses Logistical Challenge for Media
Only had 26 years to prepare

From ABC News:
S.C. Republican Questions Giuliani Speaking Fee
Wants to know how he can get such a sweet deal, short of having Charleston attacked

From CNN:
Students surfing Net for textbook deals
So far, no books, but have received 5642 offers to increase her penis size, 9406 requests to help move money from Nigeria, and 2933 notifications to update her eBay account

From CNN:
New flexibility for No Child Left Behind
Stupid ones can be left behind

From CNN:
Aimee Osbourne Treated For Lump
If successful, treatment to forget other songs may follow

From CNN:
FDA to reconsider breast implant ban
No joke to be found; Just trying to increase Google search rankings for 'breast'

From CNN:
Former guard testifies Jackson engaged in sex act
"Well, that sucks," say disappointed supportes of pop star

From CNN:
State requiring ignition locks for DWI
Expected to be obeyed about as often as current law that forbids driving while drunk

From WDIV:
Police: Drunk uncle hands keys to 12-year-old
Practicing for move to New Mexico