Now, you'll want to read this one carefully because SpaceMonkey will not let me host again. You see, my instructions are to split them up into three categories:
- Real Funny
- Sorta Funny
- Not That Funny
Let's make SpaceMonkey mad and ignore him! Bwah-ha-ha-ha!
You see, that's payback to Mr. SpaceMonkey. Seems he gave me the keys to the Carnival of the Lame Posts. Yes, all the submissions are getting trashed today. We've lumped them all together in a fourth category: Stuff Worthy Of Being Made Fun Of.
teh voodoo lounge offered "The day I spent as a radish". Personally, I think Dr. DNA is bananas.
- Shamalama from Common Folk Using Common Sense submitted "Beware. I say Beware." I don't really know why. I think he lost a best.
- Ironman of Political Calculations sent us "Why Resumes Are Screened". It's an original composition, much like the works of Shakespeare. Just not an original composition of Ironman.
- Android CAI/7 on staff at The MoxArgon Group gives us "Earthlings & their Notes". About the President's "I gotta go" note. It made me want to go ... throw up.
- Vox Poplar (the one from Vox Poplar Is right About Everything & Don't You Forget It!) has a real (but fake) transcript of the Hitchen-Galloway debate ("Hitchens vs Galloway: This Time It's Political!"). He's noots!
- Ahistoricality offered "Diet of the Penguins".
Inspired by the movie "March of the Penguins." I'm just happy they
didn't finally watch "Silence of the Lambs" and get similarly inspired
to create a diet!
- Peakah (Peakah's Provocations...) gave us "Party with the Pagans".
An equal opportunity slam against Pagans (for looking silly) and the
Christians (for taking Pagans serious) who oppose them. Way to take a
stand there in the middle.
- Buckley F. Williams writes at The Nose On Your Face and sent in "Top 9 Obnoxiously Fake Katrina Quotes". Nothing says comedy like death and destruction.
- Two Dogs from Mean Ol' Meany offered "Romance - The Two Dogs Way Ongoing Saga Part IV". It doesn't get any funnier by reading Parts I, II, or III.
- Harvey (Bad Example version) sends us "How To Liven Up A Wedding" as the very next submission. Just in case she didn't get the message from Two Dogs, I suppose.
- El Capitan of Baboon Pirates entered with "Wanted: One Chicken, One Large Bucket"
in which he wants to conduct an experiment to prove an old saying.
Reading it reminded me of another old saying. You know, the one about
"a box of rocks."
- gina (ginasrantings) decided that "sharing a laugh or two" was appropriate. Thanks, gina. Maybe I'll submit one of my linkfests one day.
- Pluto's Dad from Eyes On The Ball News sent in "The Lost Verses of the Bible". I guess he forgot "Thou shalt not submit lame posts."
- The Man (GOP and the City) provided "More Knock Knock Jokes" which, of course, contained exactly zero knock-knock jokes.
- Tommy (Striving For Average) gives us "New Orleans, the Redeployment" which is not a rip-off of WuzzaDem. John's interviews are funny.
- Ezzie over at SerandEz submitted "Kids say the Darnest Things" which is not a rip-off of Art Linkletter. Art Linkletter was funny. Oh, wait. I already told that joke.
- The Evil Emperor Mindstation from Point Five sent us "Bush to Cover New Orleans In Giant Housing Bubble". The title's funnier than the post.
- bob over at either orr issued "Liberalcard" which, in fairness, would be really funny except ... well, it's not funny.
- Dr. Phat Tony gave us "XXX President Find Product He can Really Get Into", which is an appropriate entry. Because it sucks!
- Suldog (the one from Suldog-O-Rama) submitted "My Father's Favorite Joke". Yep, seems his old man had a sense of humor. Too bad about the son, huh?
- Ricky (In Search of What's Next) tells us about "Fun with paperclips and electrical outlets". I'm thinking he left out the part about being dropped on his head as a child.
- Steve the Pirate gives us "Ask Ayatollah Al bin Sharpton!". Steve, Steve, Steve. Sharpton is too easy a target. You can do better. Oh, wait. I've read your stuff. Never mind.
- pastor mark (runalong) submitted "Giant Pink Bunny!" in which we inadvertantly learn that pastor mark uses pink toilet paper. And that's the submission's most redeeming value.
- a4g from Point Five decided one entry from that blog wasn't enough and gave us "Rather, Gore Join To Investigate 'Climate of Fear-- and Warming'" which is as entertaining as ... well ... Dan Rather and Al Gore.
- Lyn from Penty of Puns gave us "Things Your Spouse Will Never Say", which isn't puns and isn't from a blog. Now, in fairness, Lyn does have a blog. But trust me, this non-blog entry is funnier.
- The MaryHunter over at TMH's Bacon Bits sent in "The New York Times Endorses Roberts..." which, after reading, confused me more than reading the NY Times.
- Tony Calabrese (Fugetaboutit!!!) entered the fray with "I didn't even know she converted....."
in which he runs into the folks at McCarran Internation Airport. I
really want to be snarky here, but I've run into those clowns there,
too. I'm on Tony's side. Except the part about leaving the wife hanging.
- Fitch at Radioactive Liberty submitted "PSA: Impeach Bush" which is as funny as one of Dick Cheney's heart attacks.
- Damian G. from Conservathink sent in "Gore says Bush should have put Katrina in a lock box." [Profanity] Another one of those posts where the title is funnier than the post itself.
- Elisson (Blog d'Elisson) offers "Iron Chef!" which is a recipe for disaster.
- Mr. Right of The Right Place ends the fun with "Captions Outrageous! [The Eyes Have It Edition]". It's a caption contest. Other people provide the funny. I read Mr. Right. He did the right thing.
Now, I'm going to get serious here for a second. Most of these
submissions were indeed funny. I've had a little fun at their expense.
In all honest, I had a difficult time putting them into the three
categories. Each one had it's own special type humor. From silly, to
clever, to mean, to touching, ... well, you get the idea.
To each of the bloggers that submitted: Thanks.
To each of the readers today: I hope you enjoyed my little jabs in addition to the funny stuff in the posts.
To SpaceMonkey: Thanks for letting me play along.
To IMAO: Thanks for the Carnival of Comedy. And for making your stuff available for Pod People.
To Conservative Cat: Thanks for all your help with the submissions!
Oh, and don't forget the upcoming Carnivals of Comedy:
Thanks for playing along.