Tuesday, September 20, 2005

My Home Town

White Trash WednesdaysWhile Basil takes the day off, let me tell you a little bit about my home town. I come up in South East Georgia. Some of what you see on TV and in the movies about small town Georgia is true. Some of it ain't. I'm here to keep you straight on the facts.

South East Georgia, a long time ago, like when there were dinosaurs and such, was under water. The beach would have been about where Macon is. If you don't know where Macon is, well, it's north of Perry.

That don't help much? Well, pretty much in the middle of Georgia then. That's where the coast used to be.

In my home town, it's pretty low country. None of the houses have cellars. If you built one, it'd be called an indoor swimming pool. You can dig a well with a shovel.

Now, folks are just now gettin' an idea about low-lying land and water levels increasing. But, it ain't nothing new to us. We know how to live around water.

And when the water overflows and it floods, we take the time to secure all our stuff.

But, while you ain't heard about how we deal with waters and such, you probably heard stories about cops and speed traps. Well, the bad news is, not all but much of what you've heard is probably true. But, unlike most Yankees think, we don't set up speed traps to catch Yankees. We set them up to catch anybody. Don't matter what kind of car you got, what tag you got on it, what color your skin is, none of that matters. They want to catch you doing something wrong and write you a ticket. Judge's wife wants a new coat, you understand.

The thing is, the reason it's mostly out-of-towners that get caught and pay fines is that you don't know where the speed traps are. We live around here. We know where they are. And we slow down when we get near them.

Now, don't think we're heartless. Sometimes you'll find a town that depends on tourist trade and will offer help to the out-of-towners about where the speed traps are.

You see, we understand how hard it can be on the pocketbook to get a ticket. Some folks around here drive fast. The lady I'm living with, for instance.

I appreciate your time and look forward to telling you more about my home town in the future. Y'all have a good Wednesday.

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