Thursday, January 13, 2005

Return of Headline News Rides Again

From ABC News:
Players, Owners Forge Steroid Agreement
D.A. to bring forgery charges by end of week

From ABC News:
Lawmakers Asked to Take Helm, Donate Sperm
New euphemism for penis

From ABC News:
Bush Will Watch What He Says in Second Term
Cheney only Administration member allowed to use profanity

From ABC News:
Michael Jackson's Accuser, in His Own Words
"What the hell are you doing? NO! Stop it right now!"

From ABC News:
Christian Group Drops Indonesia Orphanage Plan
Orphans now free to wander streets, be sold into slavery

From ABC News:
Prince Harry's Nazi Costume Criticized
Uniform once belonged to his great-uncle Edward

From ABC News:
Vending Machine Industry Aims at Obesity
Judging by number of fat asses in U.S., plan is working great

From ABC News:
Gay Men May Be Misusing Viagra
Ya think?

From ABC News:
'People' Reveals Details Behind Pitt, Aniston Breakup
Each found out the other was an arrogant ass

From ABC News:
Fox TV Accused of Stereotyping American Muslims
Wild-eyed, screaming Muslim critic decries portrayal of characters as "Wild-eyed, screaming Muslims"

From ABC News:
Baseball groups pledge millions in tsunami aid
Will alleviate severe steroid shortage

From CNN:
Mineta announces laser guidelines for pilots
Force field, warp drive guidelines forthcoming

From CNN:
ABC to make new 'Ten Commandments'
Network Executive: "The current 10 aren't realistic"

From CNN:
Medical records: Rosa Parks has dementia
Didn't realize where she was sitting, apologies for all the trouble

From CNN:
Report blames Russian rockets for illness
To be treated with booster shot

From CNN:
Judge: Evolution stickers unconstitutional
Separation of church and state expanded to include separation of books and stickers

From CNN International:
Duchess: Prince 'deserves a break'
Public agrees; several offers to break legs, neck of Harry

From CNN International:
McCaffrey: Drugs bigger problem than terrorism
What's he smoking?

From BBC:
Rare Marley songs to be released
Hasn't recorded anything new since 1981

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