Headline News 2005-01-25

From ABC News:
Co. to Advertise on Neb. Man's Forehead
HA! SondraK has got that beat hands down! So to speak.

From ABC News:
Foot Massage Machine Snares Woman's Foot
Husband thankful it didn't malfunction about an hour earlier

From ABC News:
U.S. Navy Surveying Waters Near Tsunami Epicenter
Using really long rulers

From ABC News:
One of Kabul's Last Remaining Jews Dies
Mahmoud Abbas asks "How did you do that?"

From ABC News:
Torture Still Routine in Iraqi Jails, Report Says
Rumsfeld counters: "It's good for prisoners to have a routine"

From ABC News:
Device Helps Woman Overcome Stutter
Inventor calls it a "gag"

From ABC News:
Sidekick Ed McMahon Remembers Carson
"He was the guy behind the desk, right?"

From ABC News:
'Harry Potter' Author Gives Birth to Girl
Yet-to-be-named baby girl has a 23-inch wingspan

From CNN:
'No Name-Calling' initiative spreads in schools
Teachers unable to take role

From CNN:
Bill would boost pilot retirement age
George not too sure, however

From CNN:
Study suggests whales may be related to hippos
Second cousins on their mother's side

From The Hawaii Channel
Molokai Nun's Body Exhumed For Beatification
And, boy, did it need it! What? Oh, "Beatification!" Nevermind.

From BAYOUBUZZ.COM:
Academy Awards: No Moore Oscar
Film maker still eligible for "Joseph Goebbels Lifetime Achievement Award"

From The Washington Post:
Sheriff Investigators Deny Jackson Leaks
No problems since last gasket replaced

From SF Gate:
To quote Bush, being original is hard work
In a burst of originality, he invaded Iraq and caught hell from Democrats about the economy

From The New York Times:
Mets Want Delgado to Want Them
They need him to need them.
They�d love him to love them.
They�re beggin� him to beg them.