Sunday, January 2, 2005

Son of More Headline News Returns

From ABC News:
Travolta Almost Unrecognizable in New Role
Plays a talented actor

From ABC News:
Transplant Surgery Restores Man's Tears
Man receives wuss transplant

From ABC News:
Al Pacino Began Career As Stand-Up Comic
This whole comedy routine is out of order

From ABC News:
Emmy Rossum Happy to Get 'Phantom' Lead
Kit Walker updated for the 21st century

From CNN:
NASA can't wait to smash spacecraft
Got new hammer for Christmas

From CNN:
So much for the school milk carton
Missing kids to stay missing

From BBC:
Churchill death threat revealed
Idiot not aware Churchill died in 1965

From The New York Times:
Pig Emissions Part of Global Warming
Arnold Ziffel blamed for Tsunami

From The New York Times:
Methane in Martian Air Suggests Life Beneath the Surface
Martian Worm Farts Detected

From The New York Times:
Sun Might Have Exchanged Hangers-On With Rival Star
Neptune Adopted

From The Washington Post:
Texas Worker Shoots Woman, Kills Self
Dumb redneck has really bad aim

From The Sydney Morning Herald:
It'll take billions and 10 years: UN
Kofi seeks Ted Turner's telephone number

From The Mercury News:
Bush signs measure to begin voluntary program for 4-year-olds
Plan assures no need for draft

From The Mercury News:
Bush preparing ambitious term
Will use "Praetorian" in a sentence this week

From CNN:
Linkin Park donates $100K for tsunami
Band spokesman: "The last one was so amazing, we'd like to see another. Maybe this will be enough for one."

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